The Random Things that Happen

A funk...

2012-01-22T22:15:00.001-08:00

I suppose I should be exulting in the fact that life ispretty good right now….but, I can’t seem to get myself out of a smallfunk. Just a very small one mind you. I think it may be related to the fact that Ihave more spare time than I usually do; how ironic is that? You see, when I am not busy every moment of everyday….that gives me more time to reflect. And sometimes, the things that I reflect upon tend to make me worry andstress about the future. For example:

1. I will be 26 (almost 27) when I graduate with mytwo undergraduate degrees. Yes, that isnot completely a horrible and terrible thing, and I do feel like I am where Iam supposed to be doing what I am supposed to be doing…. But still, it is notwhat I expected.

2. I am still not married, nor is there much possibilityof it at the moment. It is funny; Ihaven’t ever really worried about it too much, but lately it seems to be on mymind. Maybe it is because I am gettingrather ancient in Mormon culture. Ormaybe it is because so many of my friends are getting married. Or maybe it is that most of those that Igraduated from high school with have two or three children now. I don’t worry about it not happening; I worryabout it not happening because I possibly don’t do enough to make ithappen. Dating has never been my forte,though I do date occasionally. I thinkmy biggest problem is that men that I am interested in are few and farbetween. They do come along, but notoften. Why is that, do you think?

3. What in the world am I going to do with myfuture? I love the fact that there areso many possibilities open to me, but I am terrified that I will not be ablesupport myself, my brother, or my parents when they get older. I love performing, but I have no idea if Iwill be able to make a living doing that. I do love teaching as well, but today the arts are being cut out of theschools one by one. And what would I teach…music and drama.

4. And lastly, (now don’t laugh) what if I getcancer, or some other crazy disease like that? I am writing this worry down in half jest, but to be quite honest withyou, I was thinking about it today. Obviously, I would deal with it, but it wouldcertainly make life interesting.

Well, I think those are the main things. Now you know—the inner thoughts and workingof my mind.

Here’s to moving forward!

Friends

2012-01-15T22:29:00.000-08:00

That moment. Yep. The one that no one believesreally happened. The event that comesstraight from a movie. Yes. I have had one of those, and it changed mylife.

Almost two years ago (the summer of 2010) I decided to takeone of the required classes for the theatre education major. I was just home from my mission, and was veryodd, as I was adjusting. The first fewweeks of 114—well, nothing really happened. We watched movies, talked about them in class, and then wrote aboutthem. I was slightly anti-social,because my life had just completely changed, and so didn’t really get to knowanyone well. However, in another class,on a different day, I heard a voice asking me if she could sit next to me. I looked up to see someone from 114 standingthere, and I said yes.

Because she sat next to me, another girl from 114 sat nextto us both. And that was how a beautifulfriendship started. The three of us, andtwo guys from 114 began having movie parties – outside of class. Shocking, I know. And we have been doing it ever since. We try for once a month; sometimes wesucceed, and sometimes we don’t. But, Ihave gained five friends who have changed my life. I wouldn’t know them really, if that girlhadn’t asked to sit by me one day. Wepass each other occasionally, on our way to classes or rehearsals, but it isnever enough to truly get to know someone. Someone asked to sit by me, and I met five people who were truly meantto be a part of my life: Carter, Mady,Melinda, Brooklyn, and Josh.

There were others that have come and gone from our movieparties, but it started and it has ended with them. We just had what may very be the last movieparty where we all get together. And itwas wonderful.

Here’s to friends!

Secrets (Or at least One)

2012-01-08T20:38:00.000-08:00

So, I am going to tell you a secret.

…..

As much as I love acting, it also makes me terriblynervous. I think it comes down to theface that I want to liked/admired rather than laughed/snickered at--but then again, doesn't everybody? I will admit that I do have a desperate desire to begreat. But, let me tell you, sometimesthat just doesn’t happen. Especiallywhen you are experimenting, and learning, and all that other good stuff.

I know, I know. Ishould just be content with who and what I am. I know that my acting will improve if I can just be comfortable withmyself instead of analyzing and critiquing everything in my head. But sometimes….. It’s. Hard.

At least it gets me out of my comfort zone.

As for happenings this week…. well rehearsals started upagain for Elephant Man and Little Eyolf. Found out that Elephant Man can’t go to Nationals even if we do win, which makesme utterly and completely mad.

One of the biggest reasons I said no to Cirque was because Ididn’t feel like I could back out of ElephantMan. But if we can’t go toNationals, there is no point in going to ACTF, and well….what was the point inme saying no to a possible, well-paid job that would have looked excellent on my resume?

However, I did feel that both shows are something I am supposed to be doing, so here’s to hoping there's a dang good reason for it!

School also began. This is the first time I will have completed a full year (two semesters)of schooling since before my mission. Ihave this nagging feeling that I should be starting another adventure. You know, going to a new place, starting anew job, meeting new people, etc. Butinstead, I am here again—in the same apartment, going to the same school,seeing the same people. It just feelsodd. It is the first time in somethinglike four years that I am staying in one place for a lengthy amount of time.

Also…. I finally have a New Year’s resolution: I want to attend the temple every week.

Sometimes.... Life's a bit hilly.

2012-01-07T17:55:00.000-08:00

Do you ever find it amusing how life can be absolutely grand one day and then complete and utter rubbish the next?

I do.

Well, actually, I am not sure "amusing" is the right word.

Yesterday, I had a boyfriend, felt good about my decision to say no to Cirque, had made it into the classes I wanted, and one of the shows I was in had a chance of going to the national ACTF competition.

Today, I have no significant other (though to be fair, I hadn't let myself grow too attached, so I am not completely crushed), there is no way the show can go to nationals--even if we do win (because of funding apparently), and I am pondering, yet again, my decision to go to school instead of work.

(Insert a picture of me wallowing in self pity here.)

So, "amusing"..... as I said, maybe not quite the right word. However, life is still good. I just am having a hard time seeing the bright side of things right now. However, I am determined to be happy with the path I have chosen. I can do that.

Right?

What a Wonderful World - Shadow Puppet Show

2012-01-06T13:12:00.000-08:00

This is, quite literally, one of the most amazing things I have ever seen. And no, I am not exaggerating. Someday, I will learn how to do this....

Googling myself, yet again...

2012-01-05T13:53:00.000-08:00

No, I am not narcissistic. I just keep getting this as an assignment. And, being the excellent student I am, I do so. :-) This time, I found my name on a blog dedicated to analyzing theatre. I was quite flattered, once again, and wish to express my thanks to the author, who I believe is the lovely Paige Guthrie (though I offer my humble apologies if I am wrong)! The full link can be found here. Enjoy!

Favorite Set Design

The Diary of Anne Frank (BYU)
Elephant Man (BYU)
Elephant's Graveyard (UVU)
She Stoops to Conquer (UVU)

Shout out to the Jennifer Chandler's cello compositions that underscored BYU's productions of Elephant Man and Diary of Anne Frank and was the difference between those shows being mediocre and excellent.

Atticus Finch, Manliness.... In short, an Excellent Post

2012-01-04T22:02:00.000-08:00

Lessons in Manliness from Atticus Finch
That is the title of this utterly excellent article that can be found here. Read it. You won't be sorry.

I said no...

2012-01-01T22:14:00.000-08:00

Cirque du Soleil approached me again. Yep. They emailed me about a position with the touring show Quidam. It was temporary. Only six weeks, with an option to extend. It started pretty much immediately. And I said no.

I also cried. Just a little bit.

Oh how I wanted to do it, but the timing was just rubbish. Utterly, completely, horribly rubbish.

Yes, I could have accepted if I really had wanted to make it happen, but accepting would have meant backing out of previous commitments. Elephant Man is going to ACTF in one month. And, I don't mean to be prideful in any way, but what I do in that show would pretty much be impossible for someone to duplicate in a month without me there, teaching it to them. And, you would have to find someone willing to do it in the first place. Music majors are out, because they want to be paid for their time. You could possibly pay a professional, but as I said, there is no way they could learn it without a great deal of rehearsal time and me, as I created/composed the score. The cast would need to rehearse pretty much every day if a new cellist came in at this point. If I left, where would that leave the cast? What would it do to their chances at winning?

Little Eyolf wouldn't have been too hard to back out of, as I am only in one scene and have attended only one rehearsal, but still... Barta and Amelia gave me an opportunity to act in a mainstage show, and that is something I was and am exceedingly grateful for. I would have felt horrible telling them I was leaving and that they would have to find a replacement.

But then, there is always the dilemma of professional versus university level productions. I would have gotten paid, had a great employer and experience on my resume, and it just would have been, in short, utterly amazing. And jobs usually lead to other jobs.....should I just leave and start working? I mean, isn't that really the point of an education....to be trained so that you can get jobs like this?

I could have deferred a semester and then come back. However, in so doing I would have extended my education yet again, in numerous ways. Classes are only offered certain semesters, and so I wouldn't have pushed it back just one semester....it probably would have been at least two.

And then there is the fact that both Elephant Man and Little Eyolf, at the time, felt like productions I was supposed to be a part of. Elephant Man wasn't even supposed to be possible for me, but then things just fell into place. And let me tell you, when that happens, it usually means I am supposed to be going in that direction.

And Little Eyolf....well that story can be found here: A Tender Mercy.

And then there is my father, who was exceedingly against it...as he wants me to finish my education. I do have one degree (I just finished the cello performance degree), but the theatre education degree is still going to take two more semesters in school, and then a semester of student teaching. And I have to admit, that degree is also something I have often felt I needed. Though I have no idea why, as performance has always called to me a bit more than teaching has.

In short, it broke my heart to say no. Quite literally. And I managed to hurt both of my parents in the process.

It's just that, as much as I am grateful for agency, sometimes I hate making choices. Because choices have consequences and lead to different paths, and I am cursed with a mind that continuously goes "What if?" no matter how much I tell it not to. So, whenever I make a choice, I am faced with the conundrum of what could have happened. Instead of embracing the path I have chosen, I doubt and worry. I know that I need to exercise more faith and trust that Heavenly Father's hand is in my life (and I do know that), but sometimes it is just so rubbishly hard!

And then, there is the fact that I want it all. I do want to get married and have a family, but I want to have a career as well....and how would something like this touring show be possible if I were married and had kids? Short answer --- it probably wouldn't. It's true that this isn't the only opportunity I will have, but if I don't do it now....when will I?

Well...anyway....here's to hoping that I made the right choice for the beginning of 2012!

(On a side note, for New Year's Eve, my family went to see The 39 Steps at the Hale. The show started at ten, stopped at midnight so we could all celebrate together, and then continued. I had two friends in it, and they were both fantastic....though there were a few Scottish words mispronounced! But, then again, who am I to say anything when I can't even do a proper Scottish accent?!)

Googling my name....

2011-12-31T01:19:00.001-08:00

The things you learn when you type your name in Google. I found this lovely paragraph this evening, or shall we say early morning. I was quite flattered, and it totally made my day!

BYU’s spring production of The Diary of Anne Frank was gorgeous in so many ways. The story, of course, is always a moving one; the acting was of an especially high quality for a BYU off-season production; but it was the technical design that I found most striking. The set design was incredible–three stories of completely detailed attic space, complete with numerous light sources and running water, enterable from the stage floor–washed in beautiful lights at all times. The sound design included effects to mimic street sounds the Frank family might have heard and music written and performed by cellist Jennifer Chandler. Chandler’s underscoring provided specific tone and urgency to the script that brought the production to a whole other level. (BYU isn’t letting Chandler’s talents to go waste, either, as she was just seen again writing and performing her cello underscoring in The Elephant Man.) – Paige Guthrie, UTBA Reviewer

Full article can be found here: http://utahtheaterbloggers.com/7914/utba-reviewers-sound-off-excellence-in-2011/
(It is a sound off about the best productions seen and reviewed by UTBA)

What Are You Doing New Years Eve? by Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon-Levitt

2011-12-29T19:19:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year All! (I might just so happen to enjoy Zooey Deschanel's music. And the fact that these two were in a movie together makes it even better!)

Change

2011-12-28T00:24:00.000-08:00

I am never satisfied, it seems. I always want what I don't have. Don't get me wrong, I am very grateful for the opportunities and blessings I have been given, but it seems that I am never focusing on them. Instead, I am always thinking of what I haven't accomplished.

For example, I have been majorly involved in one play or another this entire year, and am currently cast in another show that opens in March. And yet, here I am pondering upon the fact that I haven't ever been in a show at a particular community theatre.

Seriously. How pathetic is that? I have been given opportunities that many would "die" for, figuratively speaking, of course.

I am determined to focus on what I have, rather than what I don't. I will learn from my current position rather than wishing for other's achievements.

I will be the person I am, rather than losing myself in the person I am not.

Yes....I know it's been three weeks. I have been busy.

2011-12-23T11:34:00.000-08:00

Best. Brother. Ever.

Seriously! I have the best brother ever. He loves me so much that when I come home and try and sleep in until 11, around 9 am, he starts poking his head in every fifteen minutes to see if I am awake so he can talk to me. When he hears my mumble, "I'm still sleeping Scott!" he quietly closes the door and then goes back to his book.

He loves me so much that he tells me his favorite joke (that I originally told him), at least once a day!

He loves me so much that he tries to grab my arms and trap me so that I can't get away, telling our mother, "I got her! She can't get away!" all the while laughing so hard that it eventually becomes soundless.

He loves me so much that he tells me, on a daily basis, "Goofy?" "Yes?" I respond. "I love you." "I love you too Scott."

He loves me so much that he occasionally calls down from the nether regions of our house to say, "Hey, what are you doing?" just because he wants to hear us talking.

He loves me so much that he saves me a seat right next to him in Sunday school, and usually wants to give me a side hug at some point during the meeting. (And no, not in an awkward way.)

He loves me so much that he continually reminds me I need to wrap my Christmas presents because he wants me to be prepared for Christmas.

Case made. Best brother ever. I am seriously so lucky to have him in my life; he loves me unconditionally, forgives quickly, and has the best hugs ever.

Change of topic. Question. I was having a serious conversation with someone recently about relationships. Do you think, if you are in a serious relationship with someone, that you should want to be with them all the time? And, if you don't feel that way, does that mean that person isn't "the right one?"

Also....lesson learned....costume design is not a class for the easy going. I spent over twenty hours on my final project, and at least ten hours on every other assignment in the class. True, I learned a lot....but it was supposed to be my FUN class. Humph.

Sad story. My dad puts about a trillion lights on the Christmas tree, and it truly looks gorgeous every year. However, a layer burnt out, and it still looks fine, but in my opinion, it is like seven-layer jello that is missing a layer. It isn't seven layer jello anymore--it is six layer jello. In other words, the Christmas tree just isn't quite as magical with a layer of lights burnt out.

As for life....well, the past three weeks have been full of homework, final projects, little sleep, and a great excitement for Christmas. I am now home, and am enjoying every minute of it....including my brother.

Surviving, barely.

2011-12-04T22:56:00.001-08:00

I do not feel like writing. Hence, this will be short. But, good things have happened this week. The best being the weekend. My mother and Rhonda came up for the weekendto go to the temple and to see me play the baritone in the Tuba-Christmasconcert. On Friday night we went to asketch comedy show on campus, which I disliked, and then we went to Hugo, an utterly fabulous movie! It was truly delightful. The worlds created completely sucked me in, I may or may not have been just like the girl in the movie when I was younger,it was visually stunning, the actors were phenomenal, the 3D was utilized very well, and it was a beautiful tribute to film as well as a wonderful story. Not that I liked it, or anything like that....

Saturday was busy, but fun. Had a Tuba-Christmas rehearsal in themorning, the concert in the afternoon, callbacks for a show that I didn't make it into (which is good, as I am already rather busy next semester), went to lunch at the TexasRoadhouse, and then went to see WhiteChristmas,which was good, but bland. The best part of the dayhowever, was waking up to my mother dancing around the room to my alarm. It was a great way to wake up; much more exciting than usual. Other than that, my week has been full ofrehearsals, homework, stress about finishing everything, and watching White Collar. And that is it, in a nutshell.

Though today was pretty good. Church was excellent. At least four recent converts bore theirtestimony in fast and testimony meeting—which brought the spirit and reminded me of my mission, the choir is doingpretty well (we perform next week), and I went to the Christmas Devotional tonight, with someone whom I quite like. That made it doubly sweet, if I do say so myself. It was, all in all, a pretty good day! Here’s to surviving the next two weeks!

So close to Christmas....

2011-11-27T20:54:00.001-08:00

THANKSGIVING!!!! Inshort, it has been a marvelous week, though I have had a bit too much homeworkfor it to be a true vacation. In alltruth and honesty, I have probably stressed about my homework more thanrelaxed. Ah well. In three weeks I will be finished with thissemester and will be able to come home and be a true lazy bum. Now….I just need to survive the next 21days. Wish me luck.

Being home was wonderful. Mom cooked fabulous meals, we put together our Christmas legos, decoratedfor Christmas, watched movies, had good conversations, visited Grandma, sawfamily, and I slept and did a bit of homework. All of which were utterly wonderful things. We actually have had two Thanksgivings, eversince Grandma went into the care center. On Thanksgiving itself, we go to the care center, pay them for a meal,and have Thanksgiving there. Theprevious two years, the meal hasn’t been too bad, but, this year I wasdistinctly reminded of my many years of eating cafeteria food. However, all of Dad’s side of the family madeit down to spend Thanksgiving with us, so it was quite fun to seeeveryone.

On Saturday, Mom made Thanksgiving dinner, and it wasdelicious. All in all, it has been agood week. I am, however, lookingforward to the Christmas holidays!

Oooh! I talked to Dadabout getting a new laptop again, and he said go ahead. I have decided that I am not going to buy ituntil just before I come home for Christmas, simply because I will want to playwith it, and right now, I just don’t have time.

Well…I think I shall sign off now. I decided to spend the night here, so I needto get up around 5:30 so I can get back in time for classes. Wish me luck!

The week before Thanksgiving...

2011-11-20T21:29:00.001-08:00

20^th November, 2011

Whoo boy….what a week. The show finally ended last night, and as always, it wasbittersweet. After the show ended, wehelped take the set apart, just as if it were a huge puzzle. We couldn’t demolish it because we are hopingthat we will be sent to compete at ACTF with it. It was so strange, seeing the Margetts emptyof that stage. I will miss performing inthat show, however, when I finally got home that night and went to bed, I feltmy body relax in a way it hasn’t done in over two months. TheElephant Man was probably one of the most stressful shows I have done,rehearsal-wise and performance-wise. Itturned out to be one of the most phenomenal shows I have done as well, but Iwill most definitely have a bit more time now that it is over. It is actually pretty amazing—we sold outalmost every single show, and we extended a week. It is currently the highest grossing show at the university, and that is saying something, considering that we performed in thesmallest theatre available.

We had another fire alarm last night, but this time, thankheavens, it happened just before the show started. The last time was in the middle of the firstact, during the moment when the audience first sees Merrick. It totally threw off the show that first time. We did have to evacuate the building thistime, but we didn’t lose our audience, and the show just started late. WhiteChristmas set off the alarm again! The haze from their matinee hadn’t cleared, and when it shot up in thetheatre again, there went the fire alarm. Crazy, huh?

After the show ended last night, we all went out to IHop tocelebrate our closing. Bethany andGraham had written cards for everyone and brought a single red rose for eachgirl as well (I managed to forget mine when I left, which I am rather sadabout). I always feel badly that I rarely do anything like that; I probablyshould. Oh. I also found out who the anonymous flowergiver was…Gabby! It was incredibly kindof her to give them to me, especially as she knew I was feeling a bit left outat times. I am so happy I found out itwas her though. It made it a bit morespecial for me. She is truly a goodfriend and a wonderful person.

I was pondering recently about the closing of shows. There are two things that I miss about showswhen they end. One is performance aspectof it. You spend so long rehearsing, andoften, the run is a lot shorter than the performance—especially in a collegesituation. And secondly, I miss thepeople. You become friends with thoseyou work with (usually anyway), and then all of a sudden, after seeing themconstantly for three months, you only see them in passing.

I had my first rehearsal for Little Eyolf on Saturday morning, and I am actually pretty excitedfor it. The character of the Rat-wife,is, in my opinion, the best character in the show, even if she is on stage forthe smallest amount of time. I am quiteexcited about creating her and coming to know her over the next few months! I love the rehearsal process, when you get toexplore and create with so many possibilities!

I am also so, so, so grateful that Thanksgiving break isupon us. This semester has beencrazy. I have been getting everythingdone, but it feels like I have been walking the edge all semester, and still amfor the most part. And let me tell you,I don’t particularly enjoy that feeling.

Two days of school this week, and then I can head home. I can’t wait, even though I have homework tobe done over the holidays. I am hopingthat I can get much of it done before I leave, but that may be expecting toomuch of myself, especially as I have a date tomorrow night.

Anyway, those are the interesting bits of my week, as wellmy thoughts on them. That’s all folks.

Emotions

2011-11-13T20:56:00.001-08:00

Gigantic, huge, amazing tender mercy this week. As mentioned last week, I auditioned for Love’s Labour’s Lost and Little Eyolf last week. Because I was am in Elephant Man, I didn’t truly get to audition for either one. Instead, I was allowed to come to thecallbacks. I read for the part of Astain Little Eyolf, and felt pretty goodabout it. I was only able to attend Love’s Labour’s Lost’s auditions forabout forty minutes. I didn’t feel sogreat about that audition. I don’t Stephanievery well, and she doesn’t know me; this means that she didn’t get a very goodidea of what I can do, and in short, I just didn’t feel good about theaudition. So, I pretty much assumed thatI wasn’t going to get cast in that show. I did have hopes for Little Eyolfthough. However, when the secondcallbacks happened, I was not on the list.

Now, first of all, you have to know that I wasn’tparticularly crushed about not getting into either show. I was disappointed, yes, but notcrushed. However, as the days went on, Ibegan to have a very small pity part for myself. I called my Mom and had this thirty to fortyminute conversation about my life and whether or not I was going in the rightdirection or not. I was looking back atthe opportunities I have been blessed with, and almost every single one of themhas had to do with the cello. I beganasking myself if I was “kicking against the pricks” Heavenly Father was sendingme. Was I supposed to go more in thedirection of cello playing? Should I notbe pursing the acting part of theatre? It just seemed to me that I was always getting cast because of mymusical ability, rather than my acting ability, which is all well and good. But, was I ignoring a direction that I wassupposed to go?

Anyway, all those, and many other thoughts were going roundand round in my head, and I was feeling rather sorry for myself for not gettingcast, especially as this would be the last semester I could possibly be in ashow during my university years. (I have always had thisgoal to be in a Mainstage show here, and to a certain extent, I have….but ithas always had to do with the cello. Ithas never been on my merit as an actor. So part of this pity party was me coming to terms with the fact that Iwasn’t going to be able to achieve this goal.) However, after The Elephant Man endedon Wednesday or Thursday night, Bethany came up to me and asked if I had seenthe cast list for Little Eyolf. I replied that I hadn’t. The last time I had looked, four roles werefilled, and the fifth (one that I hadn’t read for, and therefore wasn’t beingconsidered for) was to be announced. Shereplied that I should probably go look. So, after I finished speaking to those around me, I headed down, and loand behold, there was my name on the list. I had been cast as the Rat-wife, acharacter I hadn’t even read for. I wasovercome by the tender mercy of my Heavenly Father. I truly needed this role for so manyreasons. I needed it as a confirmationof my acting abilities. I needed it as aconfirmation of the direction I am taking my life. I needed it to achieve a goal I set manyyears ago. I needed it to bolster myconfidence in myself. In short, I justneeded it at this moment in time, even though I would have been fine withoutit.

My friend, Amelia (who is also my fifth cousin) is the stagemanager for that show, and she told me their side of the story….and it isalmost as good as mine. As I said, Ididn’t actually read for the role of the Rat-wife. They called back a plethora of people whomthey thought could fill the role, and of those, there were two that theylike. However, Stephanie (the directorof Love’s Labour’s Lost) wanted bothof them. The role was a bigger one forone of the girls, so they let her have that one. The other girl however, well, her role in Love’s Labour’s would consist of morestage time but less lines, whereas the Rat-wife would be more lines but lessstage time. So, they called her andasked which show she would like to be in. She replied Love’s Labour’s. This leftBarta and Amelia with no one. So, theyparted ways, with Amelia promising to look over every single person whoauditioned. On her way home, she thoughtabout Melanie, the girl who was wanted in both shows. She had spoken to her earlier that day, andMelanie had basically said she wasn’t worried about whether or not she wasgoing to get cast. This made Ameliathink of the other person who she had run into that day who had said basicallythe same thing and had added in that Amelia didn’t ever need to run away fromher. (As a stage manager, sometimes itis necessary to run away from actors when the cast list isn’t posted.) That someone was me. Then she really began to think about thepossibility of casting me as the Rat-wife. She called Barta and suggested it, and Barta basically said, “Yes, shecould do it. But we didn’t have her readfor it. Should we have her come in?” Amelia responded with this, “Well, we bothknow her and what she can do. I think we’llbe fine.” Barta then said to put my nameon the list. And that is how I came tobe cast!

Isn’t that amazing. Ihave such a testimony of Heavenly Father’s hand directly guiding andinfluencing my life. He has opened up somany possibilities and opportunities for me, and he has helped me become theperson I am today because of those things.

Anyway, the rest of the week was busy, but good. TheElephant Man is still selling out pretty much every night. The ACTF acting adjudicator came on Friday,and it seemed as if she loved the show. She complimented me, and said that she loved the tone I set for theplay, with the looks out into the audience combined with the music. She said it was as if I was speaking throughmy cello. She also thought that Icreated a good relationship with the audience that was strong, but notintimidating. I was pretty pleased withthat. I am fairly certain the show willgo to ACTF, but not certain. I supposewe will find out eventually. This is me in the show, by the way.

We also officially switched instruments in all of theworkshop classes, and let me tell you…I am a little stressed about them,because I don’t have time to practice them right now—literally. I am now learning the baritone, the sax, andthe violin. I am still utterly convincedthat the cello is the best instrument, but the others do have their goodpoints. Hopefully, after Wednesday ofthis week (which is when EVERYTHING is due), I will have a bit more time, andwill actually be able to start learning the instruments.

I have so many projects due this week. It is a little crazy, but thank heavens I haveMonday and Tuesday night off! I shouldbe able to get everything done I think. Here’s to hoping!

Oh. Something elsethat shook me up a little bit. I foundout that a girl I went to high school with recently passed away. Her viewing and funeral are this week. She was twenty-five—my age. I didn’t know her exceedingly well; we didn’trun in the same social circles, as in she was in the popular group and I wasnot. But, I knew her. I mean, my hometown isn’t really that big, and wewere in the same grade. There were twohundred people in my graduating class and by time I graduated I kneweveryone. Anyway, it just really shockedme. She was so young. I called my mom to try and find out moreabout what happened, and she said she wasn’t certain how she died (and in asmall town, let me tell you, rumors fly), but that it was either suicide or sheoverdosed on drugs. She had been marriedand divorced. Had a son. Was engaged. And had a lot of problems with prescription drugs. It was just…. I don’t know. Maybe it’s that in high school sometimes Icomforted myself (I didn’t really fit in very well) with the fact that highschool would be the peak of some of the popular kids lives. I still had the best in front of me. However, I didn’t really believe that wouldhappen or come true. But it did, forher. High school was probably the besttime of her life. It went downhill fromthere for her. I mean, I am sure it hadits good points, but she made some wrong choices and is gone now.

I guess it just makes me question my own life, and theblessings that I’ve received, and how my life has turned out. Such small choices have such largeconsequences. We were the same age, thesame sex, from the same town…and here I am. And there she is.

Such busyness...

2011-11-06T20:22:00.000-08:00

I am utterly exhausted. I have spent most of this day sleeping. As I posted to facebook today, “Thank heaven for Sundays.” It has been a good week, but such a tiringone. TheElephant Man opened, and we have had five performances. Every single one has sold out, and as aresult of that, we are extending for a week. This is good, but it means I will be unable to attend the footballgame with my mother and brother on the 19^th. I was so looking forward to it, not because Ilike football, but because I knew how much my brother was going to loveit. And, it was going to be fun spendingtime with them as well. On the brightside though, unlike them, I will not freeze!

The show is going very, very, very well. It has also been well received. The audiences, for the most part, seem totruly enjoy it. Then again, I seriouslydoubt that someone who had problems with the show would come up to me and rantabout it, though I do believe that my friends would be honest. I messed up on our preview night; I said thewrong scene title, and I was rather upset with myself, but overall I have feltfairly good about my performances.

We had an ACTF judge come last night (Saturday). We had been told that he was going to judgeus, and we performed brilliantly. Itwas, quite honestly, the best I have seen the done, or done myself. Then, it turned out our stage manager (whohasn’t exactly been on the ball through the entire rehearsal process) hadeither been misinformed, or had misinformed us. The judge did indeed come, but he came for designs, and not foracting. So….that was a bitdisappointing.

I auditioned for Love’sLabour’s Lost, and Little Eyolfon Saturday. Barta is directing Little Eyolf and Stephanie Love’s Labour’s Lost. Because of The Elephant Man, I was only able to attend the callbacks, which isplus and a minus. It meant I didn’t needto perform the monologues I had prepared, but it also meant that mysubconscious was telling me that I wasn’t there on my own merit….I was onlythere because they were being kind. However, Barta at least knows me and what I can do. I actually felt pretty good about thataudition, though I didn’t really feel that great about my other one. Ah well. The concept for Love’s Labour’sLost is interesting. It is going tobe set in the 40’s/50’s during the World War. There will be pilots, and nurses, and swing dancing, etc. When I heard the word dancing, Iautomatically tensed up. It is all in myhead, I know, but I just don’t feel comfortable dancing, at all. I can learn, but I can’t learn it quickly,and that is a sever handicap. Anyway, Iam content whether I make it in to one of the shows or not. I am so tired, and it would nice to have abreak. However, I also love performing,and this will probably be the last semester I can be in a BYU show. However, if I don’t make it, I will just keepon auditioning for things. I’lleventually make it into something, I know.

This coming week is the week of large projects. Next week I have a ton a “rough drafts”due. I have a full-scale paper, atheatrical time-line, rough sketches for costume design, and of course the everpresent need to practice the new instruments I am learning. I just need to buckle down and get going onthe things. This last Saturday wascrazy. With the callbacks and the twoshows, I literally had no time do any homework. I thought I didn’t have any, but luckily remembered today that I have amidterm tomorrow as well as some small assignments for string workshop. I figure I can get up early and do the smallassignments (and if I oversleep I have a bit of time during the day I can doit), and I have three hours before the midterm. It is a costume design midterm, and I really, really, really and trulyneed to review the drawing of figures. Iam not so great at that, and in no way, shape, or form do I have theproportions memorized. Oh boy. That class is good, but it is a ton ofwork! Much more than I anticipated whenI registered for it.

Oooh! I received anemail this week telling me that I had won the KCACTF Meritorious AchievementAward for my cello composition and accompaniment for The Diary of Anne Frank. Theemail said something I wasn’t expecting though—it said that I am eligible tocompete! That was kind of exciting. However, I have no idea what category I ameligible to compete in, nor do I know how I would do it, if it had to be thecello. It will be interesting to findout. But, I thought that was prettygood.

Anyway, I think that is all. Oh wait. I had this thought inStake Conference today.

The people around me aretalking, texting, sleeping etc. Why are they even here? They aremissing out on so much, missing their opportunities, and being disrespectful.However, this thought came to me, as I was harshly judging these otherpeople: why am I even here on earth? What am I doing or not doing? How am missing my opportunities? How am Imissing my full potential? How am I being disrespectful? How often do I watch amovie instead of goon to the temple? How often do I sleep instead of makingmore time to read my scriptures? How often are my prayers truly heartfelt? I amdoing exactly what those around me are, just in a different way. I needto increase my understanding; I would never do what those around me arebecause I understand what they are missing, as well as what the consequences oftheir actions are. When I increase my understanding of other aspects of theGospel, I will become better. Make a choice Jennie!!!!

I really do need to improve,and I am determined to. I am also tryingnot to make this a “log” of my life, but to record the important experience Ihave as well as how I feel about them. Who knows if I am successful or not, but I will try and do better

Rehearsals....and more rehearsals

2011-10-30T22:23:00.001-07:00

30^th October, 2011

What a week. I spentover thirty hours in rehearsals this week. It was tech week for The ElephantMan, and I think it is all slowly coming together to form a phenomenalshow. I think. I can’t quite tell what it is going tobe. I think it is good, but I can’t sayfor sure, if that makes any sense whatsoever. Anyway, that was how I spent a good portion of my week.

Yesterday was the only day that held a bit of difference init. I went up to north to see Menopause the Musical and God of Carnage. The first show my motherwas supposed to go to for a friend’s birthday party, but mom couldn’t go, so Iwent in her stead. I also knew thefriend, so that helped. It was ratheramusing, though definitely a bit dodgy in places. God of Carnage was surprisingly good. It used the f-word a few too many times formy personal comfort, but other than that, it was a very intriguing play. In short, it is (to quote Wikipedia) about two pairs ofparents, one of whose child has hurt the other at a public park, who meet todiscuss the matter in a civilized manner. However, as the evening goes on, theparents become increasingly childish, resulting in the evening devolving intochaos. It truly made me think, and itwas well done. I found out later thatone of my friends is their main stage manager! She saw me, and later facebooked me, asking if I had been there. I was so tragefied that I didn’t get to seeher. Ah well. At least now I know, and next time I go,maybe I will get to say hello. Also, I quiteenjoyed going to Menopause the Musical,because afterward, we all went to lunch and I met some truly wonderfulwomen!

So,in short, this week has consisted of rehearsal, homework, stressing abouthomework, sleep and sleep deprivation, as well as lots of apples. I have a plethora of them now because myparents were kind enough to give me quite a few of them from our trees athome.

Wardchoir is going well. I had funtoday. I wish I could figure out how toactually help people sing better, as in more in tune and more loudly. I will have to work on that.

Hmmm….Ifeel as if I am missing something. Well,if I think of it I will post more later. I need to go to bed!

Crazy busy.

2011-10-23T20:25:00.000-07:00

This week has been crazy busy, as usual, but goodhowever. We got onstage this week for The Elephant Man. Carter’sset is phenomenal! Especially when thebig curtain opens! It looks like this.

I mean, how cool is that. The curtain opens to reveal a white screen through which shadows can beseen. It really is pretty amazing.

I am a little worried about the show though. We aren’t doing any run-throughs untilSaturday of this week. We open nextWednesday. So, in short, we will onlyhave two run-throughs before we open, and I am not at all comfortable withthat. In my opinion, we need morerun-throughs to get comfortable with the transitions and the arc of the showitself. We have only been doing randomscenes, and a bit of the transitions, so none of us really have an idea of whatthe show is like as a whole. It makes mevery nervous. I am worried that I amgoing to blank at some point—and it could either be the music or my lines.

Anyway, what else has happened this week…..I saw One Hundred Dresses on Saturday. It was quite good, and halfway through theshow I remembered that I had indeed read the book. It is rather sad, but it does teach severalexcellent morals: don’t bully, don’ttreat others badly because their different, etc. It was a very well done children’sproduction.

I took a lot of naps this week. That is what I seem to remember. Costume design was cancelled both days thisweek, so I came home and slept for a couple of hours on almost every day,because I never get enough sleep at night. I have seriously messed up my sleeping pattern, and it is not going toget any better this week. This comingweek is tech week….which means rehearsals from 6:30 to 11 almost everynight. What I don’t understand is why weare only doing one act each of those nights. That is four and a half hours on each act, which is rather ridiculous. The show itself is only a little over twohours. AHHHHH!!!! Sometimes I get so frustrated.

It seems also as if all my big projects are starting tostare me in the face. They are comingup, slowly but surely, and I already have no time. At least Thanksgiving is close. That is happy. And then, soon after that comesChristmas! I have been listening toChristmas music today, and oh, how it makes my heart sing.

Oh! I got a newiphone this week. Last Saturday, when mymother and I went to the festival in Cedar City, my phone completelydied, and it shouldn’t have. It actedweirdly when I got home as well, so my parents gave me permission to get mymain Christmas present early. Let me tellyou, I LOVE IT! It is ten times betterthan my old phone, and I have constant access to the internet, which I am notquite sure is a good thing. However, Ido love it!

I was thinking today about how I am always waiting forthings. And about how stupid thatis. I mean, I sit in class and wait forit to be over, and then I sit and watch a movie and check my watch to see howlong it has been, I wait until the day is over and I can sleep, and then I waitfor the weekend to come, I wait for that hour of practicing to be over, orthose three hours of rehearsal….I mean it just goes on and on, and I am losingmy life waiting for it to end, if that makes any sense whatsoever. I need to learn how to live in the moment,and enjoy each moment for what it is. Iknow that sounds cheesy, but it is so true. I mean, life is for the living. Each day is made up of these incredible moments that I am missingbecause I am waiting for them to end, and for the next one to begin. Life is those moments. And that is a fact!

Anyway, not much of note has occurred other than that. I am just going to school, doing homework,watching movies, sleeping, and rehearsing. Lots of unremarkable moments, that when I examine them closely, are infact, truly remarkable!

Kissing Quotes

2011-10-23T17:33:00.000-07:00

"A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous."
-Ingrid Bergman

"Kissing is a means of getting two people so close together that they can't see anything wrong with each other."
-Rene Yasenek

"Kissing is like drinking salted water. You drink, and your thirst increases."
-Chinese Proverb

Source: http://penelopesoasis.com/2011/great-kissing-quotes.html

I truly do not feel like starting another week.....

2011-10-16T23:27:00.000-07:00

Nine plus hours. Thatis how long I spent doing research boards for my costume design class thisweek. It too FOREVER! However, it wasn’t as bad as it sounds,because it was a project that I quite enjoyed working on. I just didn’t expect it to take up that muchtime!

It is coming close to the time when we will switchinstruments in my workshop classes. Ihave mixed feelings about this. I amjust getting to the point where I feel like I can reasonably, or at leastmostly, play the trombone and clarinet. I am going to have to start over……blah. Ah well. It will be fun, I amsure to learn the Euphonium and the saxophone.

I went to A Winter’sTale in Cedar City this weekend. It was king of a last minute decision, but itwas so much fun! My mom came with me(which I was quite glad of), and we had a rollicking good time (without thedrunkenness that is usually involved with that term). I also got to see Josh, Adam, and Whip, whichtotally made my day! I had missed themso much!

On the way there, I wrote some “slam poetry” for one of myclasses. I quite liked what I wrote, soI am going to copy them down here, so that they will be saved for my futureposterity….whom, I am sure, will read these three poems with an avid interest.

When I look at mybrother, I wonder why I have been given so much and why he has been given solittle.

When he was born, hehad brain damage from the umbilical chord wrapped around his neck and the bowelmovement he had when he was in the uterus.

When I was born,there was only a slight worry that I might have diabetes…which I didn’t.

When he was three, hewas diagnosed with leukemia.

When I was three,nothing of note occurred.

He was onchemotherapy for three and a half years, until he was six and a half. If he had caught chicken pox during thistime, he would have died.

At six, I was happilystarting the 1^st grade, so excited to learn how to read.

My brother has beenlegally blind all his life, will never drive, can’t use his handsproperly—particularly his left hand, and will never leave home.

I can see perfectlywith contacts, have a USand a British driver’s license, play the cello and piano, have served amission, and almost have two undergraduate degrees.

When I look at mybrother, I wonder why I have been given so much and why he has been given solittle.

But….

Then I see hisability to forgive, the love he so easily extends to everyone, his happiness inthe simplest of things, and his pure and strong testimony of the Gospel…..

and I wonder when Iwill become like him.

Sometimes I wish Ihad a crystal ball. I mean, I just wantto know which way to go, what to do, where I am supposed to be. Don’t get me wrong, I am ALL for agency, butsometimes it is just so aggravating!

ARRGGG.

It’s interestingthough. When I look back at my life, Isee that the different threads have all come together to get me where I amright now.

And, well, that givesme hope for that unwritten, unsure, and I am positive, most wonderful future.

The Reading Prompt. What is that? I mean really? ….every theatre class….there it is, on the syllabus. Reading Prompt #1. Reading Prompt #2. Reading Prompt #3. Etc. etc. etc.

I get it. I really do. I understand its value for the students and the teachers, but after awhile it just gets really, really old.

“In one paragraph,explain what you think the ‘message’ (lesson or moral) of this play is.”

“In 2-3 paragraphs,explain why you think what you identified in #1 is in fact the ‘message’ of theplay. Use evidence from the play tosupport your claim.”

“An important part ofstructuralism is the idea that meaning is generated by the oppositions betweenthings: good/bad, black/white, high/low,etc. Identify three oppositionsPlautus presents in Pseudolus, and explain how each of these oppositionsgenerates meaning in the play.”

“On page 403,Eagleton states, ‘the claim that knowledge ‘should be value-free’ is itself avalue judgment.’ In one paragraph,explain in you own words what Eagleton means by this passage and how thispassage fits into the larger argument Eagleton advances in the article.”

“On page 408, Bloomstates, ‘I myself insist that the individual self is the only method and thewhole standard for apprehending aesthetic value.’ In one paragraph, explainwhat Bloom means by this passage and how this passage fits into the largerargument Bloom advances in this article.”

Now. Tell me you aren’t bored.

I think I might write another one, because I don’t think themiddle one is as strong as the other two.

And, the only other thing of note this week is that Ifinally got a copy of Macbeth. You know,the show I did earlier this year for the Utah Shakespeare Festival. I watched most of it tonight, and in alltruth and honesty, I don’t think that acting-wise, I was really that good. It was really not one of my best actedshows. I talked to quickly. I wasn’t loud enough. I didn’t enunciate my words correctly. And, I didn’t look motivated at all. (I kind of hope that no one read thisparticular post. This is more my ownjudgment than a cry for validation.) Ihave learned that I have a lot I need to improve in. So, I am going to set about doing justthat!

Happy Thoughts

2011-10-09T20:32:00.000-07:00

Source: http://www.texastypeamom.com/2011/10/inspirational-quotes-with-pictures.html

So busy...as usual.

2011-10-09T19:55:00.001-07:00

It is almost as if I am on my mission again. Busy-wise, I mean. I am sobusy all the time. It feels as if I amin this constant state of whirlwindiness. School + homework + rehearsals + trying to be social (which I dooccasionally) = one very busy, exceedingly tired me.

Important moment in the week: I found out I did not get the Cirquejob. However, the email was verypositive. Here it is!

Hello__________, (which was my name, ofcourse)

I am sorryit has taken awhile to get back to you. The Artistic Team at KA had a fewadditional candidates they wanted to see before making decisions.

Unfortunately,at this time you have not been selected as a final candidate for this position.They are looking for a very specific vocal color and tone, and felt that yoursound was too youthful for what they are looking for. That being said, yousubmitted a GREAT audition with very strong playing and singing!

I consideryou to be a “POTENTIAL” Artist for Cirque and would like to consider you forfuture openings as they come up. You are an excellent musician and I feel wouldbe a very good fit for CdS, it is just about finding the right “fit”.

Thanks againfor recording the Kit, and stay in touch. Let me know what you are up to careerwise and I will likewise be in touch if a call comes up for a position thatfits your profile.

Sincerely,

RogerButterley

MusicCasting Advisor and Scout, Resident Shows

Cirque du Soleil

So, I felt pretty good about that. Who knows….maybe I will get a call threeyears into the future, and they will offer me a job! All in all, it was a good experience. And, for a while at least, it was fun tellingpeople that I might get to go work for Cirque. So, I am now refocusing myself on school. Not that I ever really unfocused. I just allowed for the possibility that Imight graduate in December.

I went to the groundbreaking of the Payson Utah Temple yesterday, and itwas truly wonderful. Elder Dallin H.Oaks spoke, as well as Sister Beckham, who is actually the second wife of mymother’s mission president. She was alsothe General Young Women President a while back. It was so uplifting and spiritual. It made me recommit to attending the temple more often. Making the time to go to the temple issomething I have struggled with since school has started. I have no excuse. I just need to decide to go every other weekand then do it.

The Elephant Manis coming along. I need to memorize mylines. I don’t quite have them yetbecause 1) I haven’t taken the time to do so, and 2) they were just solidifiedlast week. As we start doing more andmore run-throughs, I will be able to memorize the music, and then life will begood. Or at least that is what I tellmyself.

I am debating on auditioning for The 39 Steps at the Hale. Idon’t think I will have time to do it, because The Elephant Man won’t end until mid-November, but then I tellmyself that you never know until you try. So, who knows. If I do audition,I need to get going on a monologue. Theother problem is that the auditions take place during rehearsal time. We shall see.

Blah. I just lookedat our rehearsal schedule and they are adding on Saturday rehearsals. When in the world am I going to do myhomework?!!!! I am feeling ratherstressed most of the time because there is always something that I need to bedoing. Always. I am just going continuously, and after awhile, sometimes I break down. Or justgive up and sleep.

Also, with rehearsals, I am quite frustrated because wedon’t seem to be doing many actual run-throughs, and I desperately need that toget the music memorized for each scene, as well as the transitions. Arrgg. Also, and this is totally my pride speaking….I feel like I am forgottenhalf the time. I think this is because atthe Shakespeare Festival I was treated like an equal member of the cast. At almost every production I have done at BYUon my cello, I have been an add-on. Almost forgotten. Neverremembered until the last moment in time. Sometimes it makes me wonder why I spend so much time and effort doingthis.

On a side note, I think I am going to drop the block classthat starts next week, mostly because I don’t think I have time for anythingelse.

And that is me. Busy. So, so, so busy. But very blessed as well.

Only the most completely awesomest thing ever!

2011-10-02T20:44:00.000-07:00

This is a wall that makes music when it rains! It is called the Funnel Wall and is in Germany, at the Kunsthof-Passage in Neustadt. I might, just possibly, really want to see this someday.

Source: http://shannoneileenblog.typepad.com/happiness-is/2010/04/a-wall-that-plays-music-when-it-rains.html

a;lkjsdfa;skldjf (And no, that doesn't mean anything!)

2011-10-02T19:48:00.001-07:00

Time is, quite seriously, one of the weirdest things onearth. Sometimes it flies, andsometimes….well, sometimes it crawls by slower than molasses. Not that molasses can crawl, but, well, youknow what I mean. In regards to Cirque,the past few weeks have seemed like an eternity. I have almost given hope that I will get thejob, because the last communication I had from them was on the 20^thof September. But, then again, Ihonestly don’t know. I don’t know whattheir process is, or if my audition even got viewed on the 15^th. I did truly believe (and still do) that they would let meknow if I didn’t get the job, but, then again, maybe not. I keep on resolving not to think about it,but sometimes I just can’t help myself. AHHHHHHH! I just need a goodscream. And no, I don’t mean one that istyped. I will have to find myself acliff that I scream over the edge of. That is the best way, I believe. Although, you can get some pretty good looks if you do it in the middleof class. Not that I have ever triedthat. “Cough.”

In another aspect, however, time is flying by. It is October already, which is pure andutter craziness. On the bright side, ITIS ALMOST CHRISTMAS, which makes my heart very happy. The days seem to meld into each other. I am fairly exhausted most of the time. I am actually considering dropping my blockclass that begins in the middle of October, simply because I believe it mightbe the straw that breaks this particular camel’s back.

I have decided that I was a bird in another life, mostlybecause I can usually only get squawks and squeaks out of the clarinet when Iam practicing it. That instrument is, attimes, the bane of my life. And no, I amnot over-exaggerating. The trombone, orsackbut, as the English used to call it, is coming along significantlybetter. Or so I think anyway, until Ihear any of the brass players play in class. Ah well. If I never step outsideof my comfort zone, I will grow, right? Right. Or at least that is thetheory anyway.

I do have rehearsals for TheElephant Man every night, and that allows me to return to and play my muchbeloved cello. I am glad we are gettingto the point where we are going to start doing run-throughs. I really need that so I can create an overallarc to the music. Right now it is as ifI have all the puzzle pieces spread out on the table, but am not sure how toput them together. Ahh, I always forgethow much time and effort it takes to create a score for a show. Once I have itdown and memorized, it is a piece of cake, but it takes a lot of preparationand rehearsal to put it together.

Anyway, early tomorrow morning, I will head back toschool. It is going to be a busyweek. Rehearsals are changing from 5-7to 7-10 midway through this week, and though I am sure we will need and use thetime, it will change the schedule of my days a bit.

This weekend was, for the most part, a nice break fromschool. I did have a bit of homework Iwas unable to finish before I arrived home, but it only took me a couple ofhours to complete. The rest of theweekend was spent being fed my mother’s wonderful food and listening to theutterly amazing conference talks. I wasfed spiritually and physically in abundance this weekend, and that is alwayswonderful. If you have time, you shouldgo and listen to or read the talks. Youcan find them all here:

http://lds.org/general-conference/sessions/2011/10?lang=eng

I truly have a testimony that The Church of Jesus Christ ofLatter-Day Saints is truly Christ’s church, with the same organization andauthority it had when Christ was on the earth. I can testify that Joseph Smith did see God the Father and his Son, wascalled to be a prophet, and was given the priesthood power, or authority fromGod, to restore Christ’s church today. Today, President Thomas S. Monson is the prophet, just as Moses was inhis time, and he receives revelation for the church as a whole. I bear mywitness that The Book of Mormon is another testament of Jesus Christ; it hasenriched my life in uncountable ways. Ithas helped me come to know God and Jesus Christ, and it will continue to helpme draw closer to them. And finally,Jesus Christ is my Savior and Redeemer. It is because of His Atoning sacrifice that I can repent, become clean,and someday return to Him and my Heavenly Father.

And that is my testimony.

October: Here ICome!!!! Be prepared to be astounded!

My life is truly beautiful. Though, it does have its downsides as well....

2011-09-25T22:17:00.000-07:00

I hate the solarium outside my window. HATE. Well, actually, that’s not true, I hate the people who consistently swimin the pool and play volleyball late into the night. My parents brought up some foam pads for meto put in the window to try and combat the noise, and it works, sort of, but Ican still hear the people outside. Don’tthey think about the people who live all around the solarium? I don’t understand it. Well, except for the fact that people who areyoung and in college are often immature and stupid. I am not sure why I am living here. I don’t particularly like it, and why livesomewhere that you don’t like? The awfulthing is that the contract I signed lasts for a year, so unless I get theCirque job, I will be here until the end of next August. What I really want is an apartment of my own,but that will not happen until I have a stable job and can pay for it, whichmight not be for a while.

I emailed the Cirque music scout on Tuesday, and he emailedme back pretty quickly saying that he was still waiting on feedback from theartistic director and bandleader and would call me as soon as he had any moreinformation. So, there is stillhope. My dad thinks that they haveinvited someone else to come to Las Vegas, and if that doesn’t work out, then maybe theywill call me. I have no idea. I just wish that I knew, either way. It would be utterly fabulous and amazing if Idid get the job; I would be so completely and totally excited it wouldn’t evenbe funny. However, if I don’t get it,there are a lot of great and exciting directions that my life could go aswell. Maybe I will apply to play in thepit for the Utah Shakespeare Festival’s production of The Drowsy Chaperone next summer. Or maybe I will try and get a paid internship in a theatre in one of themain cities. Or maybe I will auditionand make it into the Nauvoo Pageant. Ormaybe something else wonderful will come along. I just wish that I knew what was happening at Cirque. Whether they have invited someone else tocome, or whether I am out of the running, or whether I am at the top of thelist. I just wish I knew. (I am a rather impatient person at times!) J

My week has been busy, but good. It seems as if I have had a bit more sparetime this week, which has been nice, because I have been able to watch somemovies this week (that and reading books are probably my two favoritepastimes). I found one that I absolutelyloved called Illusion. It is about a man at the end of his life, whodeserted his young son. He is taken to amovie theatre, told that the important moments in everyone’s life are recorded,and then he is shown three “reels” of his sons life. It was a truly beautiful film.

School is keeping me fairly busy. I am getting better at the trombone andclarinet, which is good, but I am not as good as I would like to be. Of course, getting better means morepractice, and I don’t really want to put in more practice than I already am, soI will have to be content with the level I am at.

The Elephant Manis coming along. We did a run through ofthe first act on Friday, and it was a little frustrating for me. It was the first time I had had anopportunity to play the music continuously, and I wasn’t really pleased withthe arc of the music. I need to look atit a bit more in depth I think….I might even have to (gasp) rehearse it outside of rehearsals. When I am attending every rehearsal, I can often get everything done that I needto in rehearsal, so I don’t often practice play stuff outside of the showitself.

I went home this weekend to play my cello for a number inthe primary program. It was quite niceto go home, for the most part. Do youwant to know what one of the thins I most enjoyed was—besides seeing my family,of course? The quiet. No solarium outside my window. It was so lovely and peaceful. Another thing I loved was the fresh air. It was so lovely to have the windows open andhave air from the outside come in. Mywindow opens into the solarium, and therefore when I open it, musty, hot aircomes into my room. I miss having awindow to the outside world so, so much.

I don’t know. It isjust weird. I am not happy coming hometo this apartment. Don’t get me wrong,it isn’t horrible, but I don’t enjoy coming home. And I miss that.

Oh. Somethingelse. I finally got the calling I wasdreading. I am now, officially, the wardchoir director. I HATE choir music andchurch choirs, and always have. However,I know that there is a reason I have been called to this position. So, here goes! And, I am determined that I will have a goodattitude about it as well. I will!!!

And that was my week. Busy, but good.

Would you do it?

2011-09-18T22:58:00.001-07:00

Source: http://s3prod.weheartit.netdna-cdn.com/images/4499337/tumblr_laauiz7CI31qbrir5o1_500_large.jpg?1287622193

Nothing....

2011-09-18T22:41:00.001-07:00

I have heard nothing. My head tells me that the longer it takes for me to hear, the lesslikely it is I have gotten the job. Mydreams of running off to join the circus seem to be fading, and in all truthand honesty, I am saddened by it. However, I am confident that Heavenly Father knows the path that willmake me the happiest, and will enable me to serve Him to the best of myabilities. And, maybe, just maybe, thatpath doesn’t lead towards Cirque du Soleil, much as I wish it would. Don’t get me wrong, there is still hope. I suppose I am just trying to soften apossible blow. Oh, how I wish….but as Isaid, maybe it is not meant to be. Iguess I will just have to wait and see. It is more than likely that I will know for certain by the end of thisweek. If I don’t hear anything byWednesday, I will email and ask. He hasbeen pretty good about responding, so here’s to hoping that I will know—andthen I can either get exceedingly excited, or I can mope for a bit and thenmove on with my life.

(On a slight tangent, here is a picture of me from the last show I was in.)

Now...back to my week. I have a playing test on the trombone tomorrow. I feel fairly good about it, though I didn’tpractice at all on Saturday. We shallsee if that was a mistake or not. Ipractice five days a week, usually twenty to thirty minutes on both theclarinet and the trombone. The bass, Ihave to admit, I haven’t practiced much yet, mostly because I feel fairlyconfident with the level I am already at. However, I know I will need to start practicing it soon. I am coming along faster than I thought Iwould on the new instruments. At times,it is horribly frustrating, but often I find myself enjoying learning theinstruments! In the string workshopclass, my professor said that students equate success with turning pages (inthe books they are learning from), and I have found myself still thinking inthat way! Every time I turn a page inthe clarinet or trombone book, I find myself exulting inside! I think part of the reason why practicing thecello lost its charm is that I couldn’t see myself progressing as fast as youdo when you first begin. The better youget at an instrument, the harder it is to see your progress I think. Not that I don’t practice the cello anymore…well,I don’t, at least not the way a performance major should….but I practice it fortheatrical endeavors, and I keep up on what I already have learned.

I had a miniature breakdown on Tuesday. Not because I was seriously depressed, orsad, or anything like that. I was justexhausted. When I don’t get enoughsleep, I can’t control my emotions, and something will set me off, and then Iend up sobbing for an hour or two. Thesetting off point this time was a B+ on an assignment. I am taking a class which I quite enjoy, witha professor whom I admire and want to make a good impression on. So far, I have not done a very good job ofit. I am normally a very preparedstudent, but every class period so far, there has been something that I haveforgotten. This week, I remembered thatI had an oral presentation due in the class the night before it was due. I spent a couple of hours putting it and ahandout together, and thought that I had done a fairly good job. I presented, and at the end of the class shehanded me back the handout with a B+ on it! I was a little shocked, but looking back on it, I can see why I got theB+. She tried to make it better bytelling me that I had done a good job, but I just felt hurt by it. And in my head, I was saying that if I haddone a good job I wouldn’t be getting a B+! Anyway, I went and sobbed for at least an hour….probably a little bitmore. It wasn’t really the B+; it wasthe fact that I was exhausted. But, theB+ upset me enough to tip my emotions over the edge. After that day, I made sure that I got a bitmore sleep, and I have been feeling a lot better ever since.

Rehearsals for TheElephant Man are going well. It willbe a good show, though I am not sure it will be one that people will like. It isn’t exactly a happy show, and it mostdefinitely will not be one that you can just sit back, zone out, and expect tounderstand. It might even make peoplefeel a bit uncomfortable. However, thecast is excellent, the concept is great, and it will most surely be interestingto watch! I am ready for a completerun-through though. I have composedmusic for much of it, but I am worried that a lot of it will sound toosimilar. Because we have just been goingthrough it scene by scene, and not very quickly, I don’t have a sense of whatit will sound like overall, and that is utterly essential. I believe we are scheduled to do arun-through this week, and that will be good.

My family came up on Saturday, and we went to see The Drowsy Chaperone. It was the third time that I have seen theshow (though it has been in a different venue every time, and it was welldone. Though I think of the three shows,I would probably rank it 3 out of 3. Isaw it first on the West End in London,and that was the best production by far. The second one I saw was up north in a much nicer theatre, and I liked themain actor better in that production. That was probably the only thing that really stood out, but let me tellyou, the main actor can make or break a show. Don’t get me wrong, this man wasn’t bad, it’s just a matter of personalpreference. I liked the man in the otherproduction better.

Other things of note…..I got a new pillow this week (which Ilove—I have slept excellently well ever since I purchased it), as well as apillow back rest thing-a-ma-jig, which I lean on when I am sitting in bed….which,in all truth and honesty, I do quite often. It is perfect! I am almostcontent with where I live. I did a hugecleaning session this morning in the kitchen, because I couldn’t stand itanymore. And now, our kitchen is clean,which is nice. It has been, for the mostpart, quiet in the solarium. I think Ihave the rhythm of my new life (which is that of a hard-working student) downfairly well. I have a wonderful family,good roommates, and fabulous friends. Ihave the Gospel of Jesus Christ in my life, as well as a firm testimony that itis true, and I have been given uncountable blessing by my Heavenly Father. Life is good. No. Life is grand. And, I will continue to move forward. As a friend said to me tonight, it is easierfor God to steer you when you are moving!

And that is all…..

School has taken over my life.

2011-09-11T21:52:00.001-07:00

Two weeks of stuff will be contained in here. Yes. I missed last week, but for a very goodreason. I was camping with myfamily. And….I was exceedingly busy,because school has now been in session for two weeks.

Oh. That first week,I was utterly dead. The phrase, “awalking zombie,” described me well. Ithink, that in part, this is because it was that lovely time of the month. That’s right. Aunty Flo had decided to call upon me. But, the fact is, in all truth and honesty, it was a rough transitionfor me—Lazy bum to very busy, and hardworking student. Also, in all my other semesters here, I havestarted school, and than, a few weeks or months into it I have begun rehearsingfor a show. This semester, I startedrehearsing on the first day of class. All together, I have rehearsed about twenty hours in two weeks. That, combined with the fact that I am a fulltime student, and for some reason, decided that I should learn new instrumentsthis semester (which means that I have had to practice them), has pretty muchconsumed my time. I haven’t even beenable to watch movies regularly, and that is saying something. Though, my book reading has gone up, becausethat is what I do in my few spare minutes between or before class.

Back to the new instruments. Right now I am currently learning the trombone, clarinet, and bass. The bass has come the most easily so far,though it totally messes with my mind that the A string is not on top. (And yes, that will make sense if you are astring player.) The trombone…well, Ifelt pretty good about the first week of class. I was able to get sounds out of it, and felt that I was doingalright. But the second week, I feel asif I am miserably behind. It couldpossibly be because I am the only string player in the class, and therefore amthe only one with absolutely no experience in blowing to make a sound. Or, it could be the fact that I am a slightperfectionist, and so do not want to move on to the next exercise until I haveperfected the first. This causes me toget behind in class, because our professor assigns us several pages to getthrough. Also, every other instrument Iplay is linear when it comes to scales. The trombone, isn’t. You have togo up and down the slide to get a scale, and so far, I have not managed totrain my mind to think that way.

As for the clarinet, my first week was a little tough. One day, the professor played a song, andthen we were supposed to play it back. Ifaked it. Totally and completely. Because I couldn’t get a sound out of it! However, my mother, who was a band teacher fora plethora of years, brought her clarinet up to the campground last weekend,and she gave me some tips, as well as played duets with me there in thecampground. Needless to say, this secondweek has gone much better with the clarinet. If I were to rate my proficiency on the three new instruments, theywould be ordered like this: Bass,Clarinet, Trombone. I have to admit, itis getting a bit old having to practice them every day, but I have been ratherastonished at how much I have wanted to learn them and play them well.

Last weekend was utterly phenomenal, and deserves a mentionin here. (Also, on a side note, Iactually went on two dates last week, and both were excellently good). Anyway, Saturday morning I went up thecanyon. Shortly after I arrived, my mom,brother, and I headed back down the canyon a ways to go to the storytellingfestival. When we went to purchasetickets, we were rather shocked that they were $20 each, but we paid the $60,and went into the park. Oh! Oh! Oh!!!! It was so totally worthit! We stayed around five or six hours,and listened to storytellers practice their craft! I truly wish that I could have gone the othertwo days, but alas, I had school and rehearsals. Someday, I will come and go all threedays! It was so excellently good that Ireally have no words to describe it. Inshort, if you ever get the chance to go to a storytelling festival…GO!!!!

As for the second week of school, it felt better than thefirst. I think I had adjusted abit. Still though, I am exceedinglybusy. I really don’t have too much, ifany, spare time during the day. Life isgood though. They should be presentingmy Ka audition videos on the 15^th, which is Thursday, and I am toldthat they will let me know the results a couple of days after. So, I have high hopes that I will know oneway or the other, about the Cirque job this week. Or at least whether I have made it to thenext part of the audition. If I don’t, Ican stop thinking about it, which would be nice, since it seems to enter mythoughts anytime I have a spare moment.

The Elephant Manis going well. We have gotten all theway through blocking it once, and are now making our way through it again. The cast is solid, and there are a ton offabulous concepts that I hope will all come together to form an amazingshow. My only wish is that rehearsalwould go a little more smoothly, as in, I wish that time was used a little morewisely. Other than that though, all iswell!

Interesting experience. In my apartment, my room is the only one that has a window into thesolarium, in which there is an indoor pool and a sand volleyball pit. Anyway, this morning, I had to get up at6:30, so I could leave by 7:15, so that I could get home for my brother’sbirthday celebration. I went to bedaround 1:30/2:00. At 2, a group of fiveto six people entered the solarium and basically began partying in the pool. They were splashing, shouting, and all inall, having a good time. I normallywould not have a problem with this, but it was 2:00 in the morning. At 2:40, I lost my patience, went out on thebalcony, and tried to speak with them. At first, they didn’t even pay attention to me. Eventually though, one of them swam over, andI told them it was 2:30 in the morning, the pool closed at 12:00, they werekeeping me awake, and then I asked if they could tone it down. They apologized and one of them asked if theywere being loud. After I spoke withthem, nothing changed. My roommate thengot dressed, went down, and spoke with them as well. After this, they were a bit quieter, and atthis time (around 3 am), I began to slowly fall asleep. At 3:30, there was a loud crash/splash in thewater which aroused me to full wakefulness. I heard a girl’s voice saying, “Are we in trouble?” and thensilence. As I watched out the window,they all left rather quickly. I began torejoice in the silence that reigned. And, I thought about that big splash. I made a conclusion as to what had happened and checked to see if I wasright in the morning. I was. They had broken the backboard off of thebasketball hoop. It was lying in the bottomof the pool. Next time I am going tocall the police. I hope that theincident scared them enough that they won’t come back, whoever they were. I didn’t recognize them, though I probablywould if I saw them again.

And, I think that is all. Oh wait. One more thing. I know this is kind of long, but it is encompassing two weeks of experiencesinto one post. One of my assignments fora class was to google myself. I didso. You cannot find me with just myname, as there are many of us, and I am not famous. But if you put Shakespeare or cellist aftermy name, you get a ton of webpages that are mostly reviews of shows that I havebeen in. Anyway, I found out that I wona Meritorious Achievement Award for outstand achievement in the field of cellocomposition and accompaniment when TheDiary of Anne Frank was judged by the ACTF adjudicator. I called my mom to tell her, and she informedme that I had won this award before. Ihad totally forgotten, but I had, for KingLear, which I did in 2007. So, thereyou have it!

Also, I cannot believe that it has been ten years since9/11. I was in high school, and I found outthat morning when the choir teacher, Dave Wankier, came over to my mother’sroom and told us both that planes had crashed into the world trade centertowers in New York. I remember feelingutter and complete shock. We watched thenews in all my classes for the rest of the day. So many people died that day. Itis something I will never forget.

I have been researching a bit about 9/11 on the web for thepast few days, and I found this blog, which gives tribute to the victims of theattack. People who knew the victims, andthose who didn’t, but have chosen to research them, have posted small articlesabout those who were killed. I read someof them, but was not able to read all of them. There are actually many who do not yet have atribute. There are instructions abouthow to do so on the side of the page, if that is something that interests. I think this is a wonderful thing, and amtherefore posting the link to it here.

http://project2996.wordpress.com/we-remember/

And that is what I will end with.

Last week of Summer Beautifulness.

2011-08-28T19:55:00.001-07:00

My last week of summer has not felt like summer at all, I am sad to say. However, as someone I love dearly remarked earlier this week, I have actually had a pretty lazy summer. So, in short, maybe this was a good transition for going back to school. One of my close friends and her husband moved out of their home in preparation for a move to California this week. I went and helped her move stuff and clean for a few hours on Monday and Tuesday. It was rather exhausting, if I do say so myself.

I too, moved this week, and so my stuff has been in the living room of our house for a good portion of the past seven days. We (Anna and I) moved on Friday to our new place. It is slightly more ghetto than we both thought, but once we unpacked our stuff, it began to feel a bit better. I feel at home, now that my things are up in my room, and I think that, despite that fact that there a few things I don’t like, overall, this will be a good place to live. My room is large and spacious. I have my own toilet and sink. And I only share the shower with one other person. And let me tell you, it is a proper shower. Warm. Good water pressure. And space. I am quite pleased.

I also had rehearsals in the park this week, and I am sorry to say that I had a rather bad attitude throughout most of them. I did change by the end of the week, but I shouldn’t have said yes to it. I enjoyed doing it….I just had a ton of stuff to do this week, and so I begrudged the time it took to rehearse in the park. And, it was hot. Which I don’t enjoy. However, the shows turned out well. We performed on Friday and Saturday (a total of three shows), and it was all good. The audiences seemed to like what they were watching, and I made some excellent friends in the process.

I also have been madly practicing the Cirque music this week, at least a couple of hours each day. My mother came up on Saturday morning, we went to campus, and spent a couple of hours recording. I felt so, so, so good about the recordings. The lighting went all wonky on a couple of them, but I still sound good. After we finished, we went out to eat at the Texas Roadhouse (which was deliciousness incarnate), and then I came home and picked the ones out that I like best. I had trouble uploading them to the internet however, and was exceedingly stressed about this. My stress came through that evening at the show, and one of the other girls in the show was kind enough to let me come over to her apartment and spend several hours uploading everything to youtube. I truly, truly owe her. She did me such a service. I don’t know that she knows how much she did for me! I just wanted to get it done last night so that I wouldn’t need to be stressed about it anymore. And, it is now done. All that is left is for me to email them off! Which I will do tomorrow morning, or late tonight. Then comes the waiting game. I hate waiting…but maybe it will help me to develop patience.

Church was excellent today as well. I think I am going to enjoy this ward. The people seem to be good people, and that is a promising sign!

School starts tomorrow. I am looking forward to it, but not, at the same time. I will become exceedingly busy once I start classes and rehearsals. Wish me luck! I haven’t even bought my books yet. I will, but I kind of wanted to avoid the mad rush to the bookstore.

And that was my week. Rehearsals, moving, practicing, recording, uploading, unpacking, and performing.

Wheeeewwww…….

Life is Still Good.

2011-08-21T22:49:00.001-07:00

Small pity party today. Yep. I would be the person having one. Don’t worry, I got out of it pretty quickly, and on the bright side, it made me see some areas that I need to improve in. Let me give you the details. Today, in church, a friend came to visit. This was our (my roommate and I) last Sunday in this ward. My pity party resulted because of two things. One, my friend (who is absolutely and utterly amazing, and whom I love dearly) was pretty much instantly loved by everyone in our ward, which is good and right, because that is as it should be. Secondly, I heard several people say that they were quite saddened by the fact that my roommate was leaving the ward. These two things combined made me ponder upon my social skills and my ability to make connections with other people. I have been in this ward longer than both my roommate (by a couple of weeks), and my friend (she was here one day). And yet, I don’t really have those same connections that they both seem to have made with people in the ward. Don’t get me wrong, I have friends and people that I enjoyed getting to know, but most people in the ward still don’t know my name. Probably, this is because I am sometimes, just a bit, anti-social. So, in short, I started pitying myself because I felt unappreciated and unloved. However, I know that both of those things are untrue, and that I have many wonderful, wonderful friends and family who love me. I just need to improve a bit in the ward aspect of my social life.

So, onto the week. I have spent a good portion of it practicing the songs Cirque sent me. I am going to be recording them this Saturday, and in all truth and honesty, I feel pretty good about them. I think there is a good chance I just might get this job. There have actually been a few times I have been certain I would. However, I don’t want to get my hopes up so high that I end up as a puddle of tears on the floor. I do think that I am a fabulous cellist and singer, and I have a ton of theatatrical experience. I think that those three things combined will give me an edge, or at least I hope so. If I don’t get the job, though, I will continue my education and get that theatre ed. degree as well as my cello performance degree.

It is interesting though. A couple of my friends have been getting theatre jobs in the schools lately. They have been posting about their success on facebook. And while I am very happy for them, I have realized that getting that teaching job might not be quite as exciting for me as it seems to be for them. Not that I don’t want to teach. In all truth and honesty, I think it would and will be a very fulfilling career, and something that I would do well, as well as love doing. I just think that for me, performing will always have a slightly larger portion of my heart. In short, I am hoping, and wishing, and praying that I will get this job with Cirque.

Also, this week, I had a goal to go to a movie theatre every day. I have never done that, and I thought it would be fun to say that I had done so. However, I did not accomplish my goal. I think it might have to wait until next summer, as there is no way I can find seven movies (that I haven’t already seen) to go to next week. On Monday I went to see The Help, which was excellent, I might add. I had actually already seen it once, but it was so good that I wanted to see it again. Tuesday was Cowboys and Aliens, which though it had a good premise, did not fulfill its potential. The plot was a little weak. Wednesday I saw Crazy, Stupid, Love, and while I loved the story and even the characters, the movie was full of junk. I actually considered leaving about half-way through the movie, but it got better, and so I stayed to the end. Thursday, my streak was broken. My trainer (the first companion I had on my mission) invited me up to her home for her birthday party, and of course, I could not miss it. Because of that, and a rehearsal I had to go to, I was unable to go to a movie theatre. However, we did watch a movie on a projector in her backyard---How to Train a Dragon—which I had already seen twice, and loved both times. Friday, I resumed going to movie theatre and saw One Day, the new Anne Hathaway movie. While it was beautifully done and well-acted, I left the theatre feeling unsatisfied. I couldn’t ever really get attached to the characters, especially the male, and something that happened midway through the movie just rankled me a bit. I would recommend seeing it once, but only once. On a happy note, the movie began and ended with Pratt’s Hill, in Scotland, that I climbed at the beginning and end of my mission. It, and the fact that much of the movie was filmed in Edinburgh, made me shed a few tears. Saturday, I gave it up, because I figured I had messed up the goal anyway. So, I stayed home and watched the new Robin Hood, with Russel Crowe and Cate Blanchett—who I love. I actually quite enjoyed it. A bit too much violence, but I was able to distance myself from it most of the time, so that was nice. And that was my movie week.

Something else that happened this week is that I got my cello back from the luthier. I gave myself a blister on my finger because I was practicing so consistently for my Cirque audition. I have never, and I repeat, NEVER given myself a blister on my finger before. It was rather painful. It was entirely my own fault though, because I have not truly practiced since Anne Frank, which ended well over two months ago. Foolish. Foolish I say. However, I am back up to speed, and I think I have the songs they sent me down pretty well. I am excited to record and submit my videos this week.

And finally, I said “Yes!” when I should have said “No!” And no, I’m not talking about getting engaged. A friend of mine called and asked if I would play my cello and act in his one act that went up in the park next week. I was pretty sure he was rather desperate, so I said yes. And oh, oh, oh….I shouldn’t have. First of all, he wants me to memorize four songs on my cello. Memorization takes time. And this week, when I practice I am going to be practicing my Cirque songs. Secondly, they rehearse outside. It is August. Enough said. Thirdly, I don’t have an exceedingly good impression of the productions this amateur theatre company has produced. And finally, I get exceedingly frustrated when the director tells his or her actors exactly what to do and how to say their lines. I feel like it smothers all creativity, and that I am contributing nothing to the character.

My roommate tells me I need to communicate. That has always been a weakness of mine. Anyway, here’s to communication.

I also went to the temple with my Mom and a second mom on Saturday. That was pretty good, if I do say so myself. One of the best parts of my week.

And. That was it. My week.

Seventh Heaven.

2011-08-14T22:50:00.001-07:00

Three things of note happened this week.

1. The music scout from Cirque du Soleil called me on Tuesday and told me more about the position. It is utterly perfect for me! It is a permanent position. The contract is for a year, and is it renewed every year if there is mutual agreement. It starts late December/early January, so I could graduate with my music degree and do The Elephant Man. And, it is for a vocalist and a cellist, both of which I am!

In short, I have been in seventh heaven all week, utterly excited that someone from Cirque called me. I feel good about this, and I think there is an excellent chance that it will happen. They emailed me the audition kit on Tuesday, and I have been practicing the vocal numbers all week. My cello is at a luthier’s, so I haven’t been able to practice those numbers, but I should be getting it back this week sometime. Even if I don’t get the job….CIRQUE CALLED ME!!!!! You have to admit, that is pretty amazing, phenomenal, and in short, great! I truly hope it happens, because it would be wonderful to have a stable job doing something I love!

2. I went to see a movie this week called, The Help. I loved the film, so much so that I intend to go and see it tomorrow. It is one of the better films I have seen in a long time. I love movies that capture me, and this did!

3. My dad had a dental convention up here this week, and I got to go to the fancy schmancy dinner on Friday night. I had steak. It, and the speaker, both were pretty good.

So, I got to see my family and enjoy their company.

And that was it. As for the rest of time, it has been spent sleeping, eating, reading, watching movies, going for walks occasionally, gardening once in a while, and killing mosquitoes.

That’s it!

Happy Thoughts.

2011-08-08T00:47:00.000-07:00

What a week!

2011-08-07T21:54:00.001-07:00

Today I dreamed of eating food while fasting. How crazy is that? It hasn’t ever happened to me before. The weird thing was that I still felt guilty in my dream, just as I would in real life if I were to eat food while fasting!

Anyway, this week has been fairly good. My car died again on Tuesday, after I picked it up Monday morning. My Dad had me tow it home, where the mechanic was able to correctly determine what was wrong in about 15 minutes. Apparently my alternator wasn’t working, which meant that my battery wasn’t charging, which meant that my car shut down every time I tried to drive it.

However, looking back on it, I think my car died for a reason. Because I didn’t have a car, my dad had to take me up north so that I could drop my cello off at a luthier. While driving, I received a phone call telling me that there was no possible way I could perform in a show this fall and assistant stage manage a show (which is required for my major). As soon as the phone conversation ended, I began sobbing. I hadn’t realized how much I had set my heart on being a part of this show. Anyway, my dad, of course, asked me what was wrong. After I calmed down a bit (I can’t speak while I am crying), I told him that it wasn’t that important or anything life-changing or threatening. He still insisted that I tell him, because it was obviously something that I cared about. So, I did. After I had spoken, I was still crying a bit. He looked over at me and asked, “If you took one more semester of classes, would you be able to do it.” I said, “Yes. Is that okay?” He said it was. I started to cry again, because I was so astonished and happy.

In all truth and reality, it will probably be better for me to student teach in the winter instead of the fall anyway. But, when I look back on it, I am utterly amazed at the time. I got the phone call when I was with my dad, which doesn’t happen all that often. I ended up bawling my head off, and as a result of that, he offered the suggestion of me taking another semester in school. If I had approached him sensibly, with dry eyes, telling him that I wanted to extend my education to do another show, he would, I am guessing, undoubtedly have said no. I really feel like doing this show is the right thing to do at this time, and I am so grateful to my mom and dad for making it possible, as well as for a Heavenly Father whose hand is in my life.

Anyway, I went home on Friday to pick up my car, and spent Friday evening and a good portion of Saturday with my family. While watching a movie with my mom, Saturday afternoon, I checked my email, and found a very exciting/surprising thing.

But, you need to know a bit of the back story. While I was touring for the first for months of this year, we lived and performed in Las Vegas for two weeks. I saw a couple of Cirque shows while I was there. In one of them, a cellist actually rolled out on stage with her cello. I thought that was pretty cool, so I decided to look them up online and just see what openings they had for instrumentalists. Lo and behold, they had an opening for a cellist/keyboardist in a new show in New York. I had about a week before the videos were due, so I decided to apply. When I finally submitted the videos, I found out that there were quite a few more things I had to record and do. As I was on tour, I didn’t have much music or half the instruments that I play. So, I just kind of forgot about it and figured it was a good thing, because I needed to finish my education.

Anyway, I received this email on Saturday:

Hello _________ (which was my name of course),

My name is Roger Butterley and I am a Music Scout for Cirque du Soleil based in Las Vegas. I wanted to talk with you about an upcoming position at “KA” in Las Vegas.

If you could get in touch at your earliest convenience I would love to speak with you more about this position and the next steps involved to be considered.

I hope this finds you well, and I look forward to speaking with you!

Sincerely,

Roger Butterley

Music Casting Advisor and Scout, Resident Shows

Cirque du Soleil

You can imagine my astonishment and excitement. When I got back to Provo, I emailed him. And guess what, he is calling me on Tuesday to talk more about it. It isn’t a job offer, but they are interested, and that is pretty exciting! If the job starts in January, after I finish my music degree, I would seriously consider taking it, if it was offered to me of course! If it starts before then, I would have to make some serious decisions. I have one class left in my music degree. And I do truly want a degree.

I will find more about it on Tuesday. So, pretty amazing week, huh!!!!!!!!

I feel like Heavenly Father knows how uncertain I am about going into performance as a career, and so He keeps on blessing me with opportunities. I truly lead a blessed life. Even if this doesn’t go anywhere, it is a great opportunity and will be a great experience.

NAUVOO!!!!!

2011-07-31T21:58:00.000-07:00

Talk about whirring hormones. I mean seriously. When it is that time of the month, I am really and truly affected! I am telling you, I am NOT myself! Beware of me. Let me try to explain. Today, my car died, yet again. It died over a week ago, but I was leaving on a trip to Navuoo (which I will tell you about in a few minutes), so I wasn’t too worried about it. When I returned home, I picked it up on Saturday. Today, Sunday, it died again, in exactly the same manner it did before the shop charged us over $1000 to fix it. Anyway, I was in sacrament meeting, and my mind kept on going around and around the three main problems in my life right now, which are no housing for fall yet, my car is dead, and I have a conflict with a show and class this fall right now. I started to feel exceedingly stressed out, overwhelmed, and depressed (not seriously though). My logical mind kept on saying, “Why are you so worried. You only have three things to worry about and they are all solvable! Stop it.” But I couldn’t. I ended up calling my mom and chatting with her for a while. That helped, but I still felt a bit weird all throughout the day. It was only towards the end of the day that I realized why---Aunty Flow has come to visit.

Anyway, besides that, it has been an utterly, truly perfect week. Last Friday, I left on a road trip to Nauvoo with my friend Carter and two of his friends, whom I had never met. I am so glad I went. It was such a perfect end to my summer, and the spirit was so wonderful in Nauvoo. The last time I went I was probably in middle school or younger, and though it was good, I didn’t truly appreciate it or the people who built the city, lived there, and then were forced to leave. I had a number of good friends in the pageant, and I was able to see the show three and half times! Emilie, Carter’s friend was a young performing missionary there a couple of years ago, and so she knew all about the shows the missionaries put on! We saw two of them twice (both casts), and another three times (it had three casts). We also got to see the vignettes that the core cast members put on throughout the week in various parts in Nauvoo.

Oooh!! Also, on the way there, we ate at this amazing restaurant in Kansas City! If you ever go through Kansas City---EAT HERE!!!

There were two “best” parts to the trip. One was the Nauvoo Temple. We were able to go on Tuesday morning, and though I was exceedingly tired (because a mattress—but that is a whole other story), I loved being there. I always feel so open when I am at the temple. The spirit is wonderful….it’s almost like coming home, to the best home on earth.

My other favorite part to the trip was seeing my friends. It was my birthday while I was there, and some of them were able to come and eat lunch with us. The place we went to had utterly wonderful desserts. I bought three, because I figured it was my birthday and I was allowed too! Oh! They were heavenly, if I do say so myself. I loved seeing my friends though. One thing that I love and hate about college is the transitory nature of our lives. I have made so many wonderful friends, and yet we are all moving away and moving on to the next part of our lives, now or in the near future.

So, one funny bit. Emilie and I were sharing this double air mattress. Before we went to sleep that night, I noticed that there was cold air blowing on my foot when I stood near the bottom of the bed. I leaned down, and low and behold, I found a hole. We tried to tape it up with duct tape, and then went to bed. We were both utterly exhausted when we fell asleep; it was probably near midnight. However, we woke up at about 3:30, and both of us were in a lovely V-shape! Our feet and heads were up in the air, but our bottoms were touching the floor. So, we both stumbled out of bed and I pushed the button to blow the air mattress up again. We figured it had taken about three or so hours to deflate it, so we should have been good by morning. But, no, tragically we weren’t! We woke up again at 4:30, once again in a lovely V-shape! So, we pumped it up again and went to bed, managing to last until morning.

The next night, we patched it up with better tape, and though the mattress did indeed last through the night, when we woke up the next morning, we were again, in the V-shape. We tried taping it again for the next night, figuring it would be even better, but instead, I woke up when I face-planted the wall! I started thrashing about, but I couldn’t seem to get out of the mattress! I ended up waking Emilie, and then we pumped it up, yet again, and woke the next morning to find ourselves flat on the floor. The next night, we made the boys in the other room sleep on the floor! Well, only one of them, but that is why I was so tired when I went to the temple. I hadn’t slept well for several nights in a row.

Anyway, overall, the trip was wonderful. I made new friends, got to see old ones, and felt of the spirit of Nauvoo. The pioneers were truly great in their commitment to the restored Gospel of Jesus Christ. They sacrificed so much for their beliefs. Their testimonies and actions strengthened my own. I truly know that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God, called to restore the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints to the earth once more. The priesthood, which is the power and authority of God, is once again on the earth. There is a prophet and apostles today! And the Book of Mormon truly is another testament of Jesus Christ. The spirit testified these things to my soul again and again while I was in Nauvoo! I am determined to be better, to do better, and to become better.

I can't wait.

2011-07-17T23:00:00.000-07:00

Source: http://www.thinknice.com/cute-pin-up-quotes-part2/

A good'un!

2011-07-17T22:55:00.001-07:00

What a week. I spent a good portion of the first few days running around, trying to find a song to sing for the Funny Girl Auditions. I needed to film myself and submit the video. I ended up buying this utterly brilliant new Kodak camera. You record everything you want, and then you push this button, and a little zip drive (or whatever you call it) comes out and you stick it in the computer, and it downloads everything on the camera/recorder immediately onto the computer. How brilliant is that?!!! It was so easy to do. I was fairly pleased with my audition, though I don’t like how I ended it. And, looking back on it, I am not sure the song itself is catchy enough to warrant any attention. I was looking on their facebook page, and it said, “The FUNNY GIRL casting is now closed. We'd like to applaud all of the participants — so many great and creative auditions from the world over: Brazil, Canada, France, Israel, Sweden, US, UK &

Vietnam

!” My audition was pretty normal. Ah well. I need to finish my education anyway.

My Mom came up on Wednesday night because we were going to a young adults book conference here on Thursday and Friday. She was the one who helped me record my audition. The conference was amazing, and it was so much fun to have my mom there with me. We listened to authors, and ate refreshments, and asked them questions, and bought books, and had the authors autograph them. There was one author in particular that I quite like: Rebecca Stead. She just seemed to be someone that I would love to be friends with. I don’t think I have read either one of her books, but I have them both in my room and they are on my list. My mom and I probably spent a little too much on books, but they look so lovely all lined up on my bookshelf. And let me tell you, I am going to seriously enjoy reading them over the next few weeks. I also received all of the devised theatre books that I ordered from Amazon.com! I can’t wait to read them as well. The rest of my summer is going to be absolutely fabulous! One other thing…the conference made me want to try writing myself. So today, I did! I wrote two pages (quite the achievement, I know), and well, we shall just have to see what happens. I don’t honestly know if I will have the patience to write a book, but it would be pretty amazing if I did!

Saturday was a pretty good day as well. Mom and I got up early and went to the temple, which is always an amazing experience. We then went out to lunch and the went to see “The Hit.” It was pretty good. I expected a bit more, but overall, it was pretty good. I think my biggest complaint is that I didn’t see a huge range of emotions from the characters; the way they spoke, their actions, and their emotions just kind of seemed to stay the same throughout the show. However, it was well acted, and I enjoyed seeing two of the actors play a range of different characters.

The hardest thing about this week is that I was exceedingly tired by the end of it. I absolutely loved having mom up here (though I felt a little badly about having her sleep in a tent outside), and loved the book conference…but, the problem with me is that when I can’t ever seem to go to bed early….usually because I am reading or watching a movie. And therefore, because I had to get up early three days this week, I was horribly tired by the time Sunday came around. Needless to say, I slept ten hours straight last night. The problem with that, however, is that now it is almost midnight, and—you guessed it—I am wide awake.

Today was a pretty good day though. I got up and wrote a little bit, then went to church and had an exceptionally good surprise. One of my old roommates came to my ward today. She tends to not be ready for her 9am ward, so she usually finds a 1pm ward to come to. Today it was mine. Anyway, it was so much fun seeing her and talking with her. We ended up planning a movie party for all of us on Thursday this week. When I got home, another one of my old roommates invited me over for dinner. I was so excited, simply because I hadn’t seen them for a while, and I was positive that whatever they were fixing was going to be better than the microwave food I have in my pantry. I went, and it was wonderful! Mostly because of my friends, though the food was excellent as well.

And then…I came home, went for a walk…and who should I run into, but one of my professors, whom I happen to love! She was driving her car and saw me, and we were able to talk for a few minutes. Like I said, a pretty good day. Well, actually, a pretty good week! The book conference was amazing; in truth, I wish it was every week.

Oh yes! One other thing. One of my friends texted me this week asking if I wanted to go to Nauvoo with him and some of his friends. I, of course, said yes! I have at least four friends in the Nauvoo pageant this year, two of whom are Joseph and Emma Smith! Anyway, I am quite excited about it. But, there is a downside---because I am going, I now cant’ go to Lagoon with my mother, which stinks. And, she is being unreasonable and won’t go later! J (Okay, not really. She can’t change the date she goes.) In short, I was so looking forward to going, and now I can’t.

And that was my week.

Me. In the Backyard.

2011-07-11T01:45:00.001-07:00

2011-07-10T23:31:00.001-07:00

Source: http://www.theinspirationtree.com/2011/01/world-you-desire-can-be-won.html

All is well.

2011-07-10T22:55:00.001-07:00

Do you ever look back on a week and wonder where it went? I swear this week just started. Anyway, this is the first full week I haven’t had school, I think. And it has been quite nice.

I have done my normal entertainment—movies and books. And I convinced my Dad to let me take vocal lessons again! So, I have been practicing as well. Sadly, my voice teacher is only going to be around until the 20^th of July, so I will only get a couple of lessons from her before she takes off. However, I am hoping to take a month worth of lessons from someone else. It will depend on their prices, but I have high hopes. It is amazing how much you can learn from lessons. I had my first one this week, and I felt like I improved so much! It was so wonderful to sing again. I have been belting this week and singing legit as well, and it feels great! I feel like I have finally come into my voice.

And, speaking of voices. They are holding worldwide auditions for the revival of Funny Girl. All you have to do is submit a video of you singing. Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t really think that I have that great of a chance, but I do think that I have a phenomenal voice. And it fits the role of Fanny Brice so perfectly. So, I think I am going to audition. However, if I did get cast, it would once again, conflict with my education. I have one music class left before I graduate. One class. I would hate not to get my degree because of one lousy class. But, as I said before, I don’t think my chances are that high, so I am not even really going to worry about it.

As for what else has happened this week, well…my roommate and I looked at a house; sadly, neither of us was very impressed with it. We are still looking for housing. I have to admit, I am a bit nervous about not having housing yet, because I have always found something before spring term even started, or at the very least, very soon afterward. We are looking though, so that is good.

The best part of this week was the end of it. I drove home early Friday morning, and then we drove down to the southern end of the state for a family temple trip. My mom’s aunt and uncle live about thirty minutes away from the temple, and my brother so wanted to go to the temple with them while they are still well and able to do so. They are both in their eighties, and my uncle suffers from Parkinson’s disease. It was a truly wonderful experience. I am pretty sure we utterly exhausted them however, and I feel quite badly about that. We had to get up at 6:15 the next morning in order to get home in time for Dad to play at a funeral. I finished my book, ate some food, and then promptly took a nap for about two to three hours. I haven’t really been sleeping well. In my house up north, my roommates haven’t particularly wanted to turn on the air conditioning, because it is rather expensive. That is all well and good, but at night, I don’t sleep well if I am too hot. And, as it is July…..

Ah! This week, I also ordered about seven books on Amazon.com about devising theatre. I want to research and study it, and then begin to plan out how I will direct my play. I think it will be good. I just need more of an idea how to structure it, because there is no formal structure—as it is devised. However, I am certain that there needs to be some sort of structure. I can’t just go in and say, alright, here is the poem and the picture…let’s make something up. But, then again, maybe I can! I just need to figure it out a bit more.

Today was excellent as well. Last week, I was home for Church as well, and in Sunday School, something happened that really, really bothered me. The teacher, though she was trying her best, taught a bit of false doctrine. I could have misunderstood, but I believe she basically said that Christ didn’t pay for our sins, but that because of who he was, mercy would be extended to us if he pled for us. Now, that is not true! But, I didn’t say anything….and neither did anyone else in the room! I was so frustrated! I went and talked to mom in the nursery almost immediately after class, and she confirmed what I was thinking. Anyway, I left church rather frustrated. But, this week, in Sunday school, after teaching a wonderful lesson all about the atonement, the teacher (who was different than last week), went back to last week’s lessons and said that there was a question asked that no one answered, himself included. He said, the question was, “Did Christ pay for our sins?” I raised my hand and said, “Yes!”

I can testify that Christ suffered for every person’s sins when he performed the Atonement in the garden of Gethsemane and on the cross. He paid the price of our sins and mistakes so that we wouldn’t have to, if we do what he asks. And what he asks is for us to have faith, repent, be baptized, receive the gift of the Holy Ghost, and endure to end. Or in other words, after we have done the first four steps, to continue keeping his commandments and building his kingdom. The law of justice is satisfied because Christ paid the price for our sins. And the law of mercy is satisfied because mercy is extended to us if we do what Christ asks. Christ was the only one who could perform the Atonement, because he was not only the son of Mary, but quite literally, the son of God as well. I know this. I wasn’t there to witness his suffering, but I have felt the Spirit testify to me, in many small ways over the years, that this is true. Christ loves us. He was and is perfect. And because of that, and the Atonement he performed, we have the opportunity to repent, be forgiven, and someday return to Heavenly Father.

In short, all was made right in my world today. I have a wonderful family. Good friends. My health and strength. A testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ. And a life which is continually changing for the better.

2011-07-10T17:44:00.001-07:00

Source: http://www.touchingquotes.com/deep-and-sometimes-sad-love-quotes/

What a wonderful week!

2011-07-03T22:02:00.000-07:00

Alright. So. This is one weekend that I do not feel like writing. However, I have made it a goal to write every week. I am home this weekend, as tomorrow is the fourth of July. My mother is sitting next to me trying to convince me to write tomorrow, but I seriously doubt that I am going to feel like writing tomorrow either…so, tonight it is.

So, this week I finished up my music education class. I have decided to not apply to the music education program, mainly because I feel that I need to finish up the two degrees I have already started and mostly completed. I figure that if I want the music certification I can get it after I graduate, either in the post-baccalaureate program, or in another school.

I also had this amazing evening with one of my roommates this week. We talked about life, families, the gospel, and she came up with this amazing idea for a mask club that I could do. It would basically be a devised piece based on a book(s) coming to life. It would be utterly perfect for me because I love stories; it is something I am exceedingly passionate about, and it would also be slightly out of my comfort zone, so hopefully it would help me to grow and become better. I am not completely sure it is what I want to do, but over the next few weeks I intend to research devised theatre a bit more and try and develop the idea.

As I mentioned before, I am home for the weekend. However, on Wednesday my mom and a friend came up to go to the temple. I went with them in the morning, and then we went to see X-Men: The First Generation in the afternoon. Both events were quite good, as was lunch (we ate at Five Guys Burgers and Fries), and then after the movie headed home. The X-Men movie sparked a desire in my mother to see the other three movies again. I reminded her that there were actually four movies now, as they came out with a prequel for Wolverine’s character. So, I rented them all at Blockbuster before I came home. We watched three movies yesterday (and I also watched three episodes of Monk). It was quite good, and not something we normally do….but I have to admit, with the extra hour and half of TV episodes that I added on, I felt that I had probably spent too much of my day doing one thing! Tomorrow we are going to be watching the last movie—Woverine’s prequel—and a movie called Temple Grandin, that I know mom will absolutely love.

Tomorrow is the 4^th of July. I am actually quite excited about that, as I haven’t been in the United States on the fourth for two years. I haven’t actually missed it too much, but it will be fun to see the parade tomorrow, have a water fight, eat hot dogs and hamburgers, watch a couple of movies, read books, and just enjoy celebrating the freedoms the we enjoy in the United States.

Another amazing thing that happened this week is that one of my mission companions from England ran into our convert at the temple. He went less active a few weeks after he was baptized, and I wasn’t sure that he was ever going to come back. But apparently he has been trying to track both of us down for a year or more. He has come back to church, moved to England (about thirty miles away from where my old companion lives), is getting married next month (his fiancé is getting baptized the day before I believe), and will be working towards getting sealed in the temple. How utterly amazing is that! It truly made my heart happy when I heard that he had come back to church…especially as none of the four people that I saw baptized were still active when I left

Scotland

I am so happy for him because I do truly know that the Gospel of Jesus Christ is what brings true happiness and peace in this life and perfect joy in the next. I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is true. Its organization is perfect. There is a prophet on the earth today who receives revelation from God for the church as a whole. I know that the Book of Mormon is the word of God and does testify of Christ. I know that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God, and I can testify that Jesus Christ truly is the Savior of the World. I know this things because I felt the Holy Ghost, or the Spirit, testify to me, again and again, that these things are true. Feeling the Holy Ghost has never been a huge thing for me. I have never felt a “burning in my bosom.” It is just this sense of peace. Of rightness.

And that is why I can testify of the truthfulness of the Gospel of Jesus Chist.

Goodness. In a week.

2011-06-26T21:13:00.001-07:00

Alright…so….in short….I have been camping! And, travelling this week. And watching movies. And reading books. Today, however, I learned a valuable lesson. I realized, this week, as I was travelling, (I drove at least 10 hours in two days), that I can be slightly critical of other drivers. I don’t usually shout or honk, but I make very snide and critical comments about them in the safety of my own car. I decided that this really wasn’t that charitable and wasn’t, at all, something the Christ would do….so I resolved to stop. I have been making a bit of progress this week. I haven’t succeeded in stopping the remarks coming into my head. But, every time I start, I stop myself immediately. I thought I was doing pretty well, but Heavenly Father decided to speed up the process today.

Twice, today, I made the same mistake driving. I pulled into a lane that I thought was a turning lane, but wasn’t. Once, somebody was kind enough to let me back in. And once, somebody swerved and honked at me when I tried to get back in. I felt like an utter and complete idiot both times. However, I was truly grateful to the first driver. Can you see the lesson that I learned here? Everybody makes mistakes. No one is perfect. And, today, in church, we were talking about charity. Someone said, “Charity is so important because we all need it.” That really struck me….because it’s true. Before, I had only thought about how it was important for me to develop charity; I didn’t really think of the effect it had on others. But, I know how much I need and appreciate charity when I receive it. I truly need, as Moroni counsels in the Book of Mormon (Moroni 7:48), to “….pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure.” So, in short, I need to develop charity for myself…AND for others.

As for this week, it was pretty good. I spent the first half of it with my mother, and had an absolutely fabulous time. She came up to spend Monday and Tuesday with me. We bought temple clothes for me, went out to eat, had good conversations, she was patient with my persnickityness, and we went to see Stephen Sondheim’s Company that was being broadcast in theatres. I truly am grateful for the wonderful mother I have (and family for that matter), and for the time I was able to spend with her!

We drove down to Tuachan on Wednesday, set up the campsite, and went to see The Little Mermaid. The spectacle of the show was phenomenal. They had a tube that went across the stage with dozens of holes in it. When water was pumped through, a sheet of rain would fall on the stage, and it made it look as if it was underwater. All the sea creatures and mermaids went around the stage on roller-skates, the costumes were amazing, and the special effects were pretty astonishing as well. However, the singing and acting left much to be desired.

I had to drive back on Thursday for class, and spent the rest of my week reading, watching movies, doing theatre stuff, and homework. Life is pretty good, though it is getting a bit warm for my taste. Joy. I still have July and August to get through.

I am still trying to figure out if I should purse the music education degree, and have moved from being completely negative about it to being somewhere in the middle. I still need to talk to the theatre ed. advisor however. Wish me luck! She can be a bit difficult to get a hold of!

And. Well. That is that!

This is what I feel like when I read!

2011-06-26T11:37:00.001-07:00

Source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymaclean/5675996099/sizes/l/in/photostream/

It made me think...

2011-06-19T22:58:00.001-07:00

The website browser thingy at the top said, "Open your eyes."

Source: http://www.gosia.ca/gallery/C_02.htm

Looking to the Future

2011-06-19T21:58:00.001-07:00

IT’S TIME TO CELEBRATE!!!!!!! I have done this once before—celebrated the fact that I will never have to listen to atonal music again unless I choose to—however, that celebration came back to “bite me in the bum” (as one of my British friends would say). I took three of the four required semesters of music history before my mission. One of these semesters was the fourth semester, which focused solely on atonal music. Here is an example of one of the songs I have now had to study twice:

It is Milton Babbit’s Philomel. Anyway, I distinctly remember celebrating, after that first semester, the non-existent hole that the disappearance of atonal music would leave in my life. However, when I returned from my mission, I found that the School of Music had amalgamated the four classes into two, and as I hadn’t taken the third semester, I needed to take the second class….half of which was dedicated to atonal music. Oh. How. I. HATED. It. However, I am now done. And I will sing a chorus of “Hallelujahs” because of it!

So, in case you couldn’t tell, finals were this week. I was only taking two classes (Music History and Applied Theatre), but they actually took up quite a bit of my time. I also was helping two of my friends in their scenes, so their final performances happened as well. I finished on Wednesday, went visiting teaching, and then took off to go camping with my mother and brother. Let me tell you, that was a rather interesting experience—getting away from my life! I thought I had from Thursday onward completely free….and in a way I did. I had no school! I hadn’t realized, however, how many things I had actually planned in that time! I was getting together with an old friend from freshman year on Thursday. A mission companion was coming down on Friday. I had a date to go see the new X-Men for sometime later in the week. I was gardening on Saturday morning. Visiting teaching on Sunday afternoon. And my ward was having a murder mystery activity on Saturday evening: I was going to be Dinah Shore. Also, my roommate was being given a surprise birthday party Friday night. However, I felt that I needed to go camping with my family, and so I extricated myself from all previous engagements. It was wonderful going, I have to admit. I love the peace that comes from nature. I mean, don’t get me wrong, my family and I watch movies, play games, read books, go on hikes, etc., but I love the outdoorsyness of it. And, in the campground, I found inchworms everywhere…and I have to admit, I loved watching them inch around, as well as sometimes helping them to a perch on a leaf!

So that was most of my week. The first half was spent in preparation for finals, and the second half was spent camping. We came home on Saturday so that mom could teach in Nursery, and so that we could spend Father’s Day with dad. We found a pretty perfect gift for me to give him! While we were shopping at Walmart, my brother and mother found a camping shower sort of deal. It is basically a tall little hut that you set up in which you can change, or take a shower, or store stuff in. There is a mesh floor that drains, and mesh baskets for shampoo and other items, as well as a hook to hang a bucket if you want. You see, Dad likes to run while camping, and when he comes back, he likes to bathe. Previously, he has opened the doors to the truck and bathed in between them, stark naked…which, I have to admit, I have found a bit awkward. Or, he has gone in the tent…and that is a bit awkward as well, because water has no place inside a tent. So, I think he liked the gift, and I was pleased, because he is notoriously hard to buy for.

One other thing of note is the fact that I went and talked to a professor in the music education department this week. Dad is really pushing for me to get a license to teach music in the schools as well as theatre. I can understand the value of having that certification, and he is willing to pay for it and doesn’t mind the extra time it would take me, so I have been exploring the options. The professor was wonderfully supportive and basically said that he would help me get into the program if I really wanted to. However, we also talked about how long it would take: two years, minimum. I am already going to be here for another year and a half anyway, but the word that scares me is “minimum.” The other thing is that I have all my classes figured out at this moment in time, which, if I do say so myself, is quite the feat, as there are conflicts everywhere. Right now I have two semesters in school left and then I student teach. If I were to begin getting certified in music, I would need to completely mess up my schedule again. I also haven’t talked to the theatre professors at all about this, and let me tell you, I am not entirely certain that they will be happy with this possible change in my schedule. Also, if I do this, I will be basically graduating with three degrees, thereby possibly making myself overqualified. And finally, I started school in 2004. It is now 2011. True, there was a mission in there (which lasted for eighteen months/two years before I could really start school again) a semester away working for the Utah Shakespeare Festival, and a double major, but still….I am starting to feel like I am getting nowhere. Most of the people I entered school with, and even those younger than me, are graduating with their Masters or at the very least graduated with their Bachelors long ago.

I know, I know….I shouldn’t compare. And I am not in a way, but I have been at school for a long while. And finally, last of all, I am not sure I want to spent that time doing something I am “okay” with, but not passionate about. I am getting to the point where I want to spend my time solely on that which fascinates me, motivates me, and inspires me, which is theatre, or at the very least, a combination of theatre and music. So, at this moment in time, I am going back to school summer term to take a class called “Careers in Music Education” which will keep my options open. It begins tomorrow, so….wish me luck.

And…that is that, in a nutshell.

2011-06-19T19:18:00.001-07:00

Source: http://beingalison.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/Never-Had.jpg

Yes. I am continuing!

2011-06-12T20:59:00.000-07:00

I am not in much of a writing mood, but nevertheless, there a few things worth writing about this week. One is the fact that I think old age is beautiful. For example, this picture:

I think that old age is beautiful because it is experiences that have expressed themselves on our physical bodies. Good and bad. Happy and sad. Often, especially when I see older couples together, I see so much happiness and wisdom in their faces. I went to the temple this week, and as we walked up to our session, I found myself behind an older couple. As I watched, they linked fingers. That little gesture of love touched my heart, and made me wish that I had found someone that I felt that way about. Sometimes I worry about ever finding someone. I am afraid of relationships I think. And as I try and analyze it, I find that I can’t even really say why. Maybe it is just that I have a fear of getting hurt. Maybe it is the huge change that it could bring to my life. Maybe I just don’t want to be awkward. Maybe my priorities are too much towards developing my own talents and pursuing a career. I don’t know. All I know is that I have never been much of one for dating and have never been in a serious relationship, and in all truth and honesty, that is probably my fault. I don’t always give people a chance to get to know me, and sometimes I don’t get to know them. And, it is pretty hard to find someone if you don’t give that time to get to know them. So. In short. I need to change.

Also, on a side note, I have finally gotten to that point where people start pointedly asking about my love life. For example today, my grandmother, asked me about my love life, and when I told her I didn’t have boyfriend yet, she replied, “Well, I want you to have a boyfriend.” I told her that she just wanted more great-grandchildren! And then, yesterday, I was speaking to my other grandparents, and I got the same question. “How’s your love-life going?” When I go home, invariably, at church, I have at least one or more people ask me, “Have you found him yet?” So, in case you were wondering, 24 years of age is officially the start of “The Questioning.” However, I am very lucky in the fact that I have parents who have never questioned me. Sometimes I wonder if people just don’t have anything else to ask me about. Is that the only conversation I can inspire in others?

Anyway, on to happier things. Anne Frank ended this week, and to be honest, I am quite glad. It was a wonderful experience, but it was a LOT of sitting, and I won’t miss that! I will miss scoring the show, but all things must come to an end sooner or later. At least right now anyway. Spring term is also almost over, and let me tell you, I will not miss my music history class. I will not be getting the best of grades in that class….I am hoping for a B, but we shall see.

Not too much else has happened. I am still debating on whether or not I want to do The Elephant Man in the fall. I am still studying for my classes. Still rehearsing for my friends scenes. Still watching movies and reading books. I am looking forward to going camping with my family next week. Though, if I end up taking summer classes, that will not be happening! I am talking to a music professor this week about possibly getting a license to teach music. From what I understand at this moment in time, that can only be done through the post-baccalaureate program, which is in the spring and summer, as well as evening classes. However, I do not know for sure. We shall see.

Nothing too exciting. Nothing too thrilling. I have to admit, the fact that I don’t feel much like typing up the happenings of my life this week probably has a lot to do with the fact that this is a shorter entry. And, of course, nothing at all to do with the fact that my life this week was pretty similar to my life last week.

And that is that.

Inspiration for my Soul

2011-06-05T22:02:00.000-07:00

A post. Surprise!

2011-06-05T21:20:00.000-07:00

So. The mosquitoes are out. Blah I say. Blah to the whole world of mosquitoes. As this comic from “Natalie Dee” says:

Honest to goodness…these little bugs really do just that. I spent an absolutely wonderful morning gardening (okay, it was really only two hours, but still…) and then the next day I wake up to at least three monster bites on my arms that itch terribly.

Anyway, today, in church, somebody bore their testimony and said (this is just the gist of it), “Looking back, even just four years ago, I never would have guessed this was where my life would take me. Heavenly Father really does guide our lives, and gives us what we need, rather than what we want.” This statement made me think back to my life, four, or even six years ago….and I have to admit, Heavenly Father has led and guided my life in some fairly interesting ways. I too, would never have guessed six years ago that this is where I would be. Six years or so ago, I started university, as a cello performance major. I wasn’t exactly sure that that was what I wanted to do with my life, but I figured I had been accepted, and I had spent a good portion of my life honing those skills, so I might as well develop them further. I spent a year studying only music, and went slightly crazy. So, I started taking one class every semester for fun. Those classes, for me, turned out to be theatre classes. I would take one acting class every semester. I started to get to know the theatre department professors as well as the students. I began auditioning for mask clubs, which are forty minutes versions of plays of musicals that the theatre education or directing students cut, cast, and direct. I couldn’t do any of the Mainstage plays because they always conflicted with orchestra concerts. But mask clubs were performed on just one day (a Thursday) three times, at 1, 2, and 4pm. That fit pretty perfectly into my schedule. I have to admit, my cello professor wasn’t exceedingly happy with me, and at one point even told me that I had emotionally checked out of the music major, but I still persisted in the music major, and did theatre on the side, for fun. At the end of my junior year, the director of the children’s touring show invited me to be in the show—as an actor and as a musician!

I thought, “Wow! What an amazing opportunity! I get to combine two things that I absolutely love!” However, I had a slight problem. This is that if I did the show, I would not be able to take one of my music classes that is offered every other year in the fall. So, instead of graduating in 2008, I would not be able to graduate until 2009. And, if I decided to go on a mission, I wouldn’t be able to graduate until 2011. So, I thought about it long and hard, and decided that I would do the show, and apply to the theatre education program that fall as well. (Keep in mind that this is during my senior year at BYU.) That way, I would have something to do while waiting for that class, if I went on a mission, I would have classes to take when I got back, and it would allow me to continue taking the acting classes as well as get a somewhat practical major.

So, I did the show, went on a mission, and came home. Hello 2010. I started school full-time again in the fall, and just a few weeks into the semester, I get an email from the director of the touring show that I did before my mission. Turns out that he was directing the Utah Shakespeare Festival’s Educational Tour in January, and he wants me to act and play my cello in it. It toured around four states for three months, and was a professional job in which I got paid. I ended up taking off a semester and doing the show. In January, while I was down in Cedar City, I had a friend email me and ask if I would play my cello in my university’s spring show, which is what I am now doing, as well as taking classes again. During the rehearsal process for this show, I was offered a part acting and playing my cello in another show at the university in the fall.

So, here I am, actively pursing and education and a career in theatre, when six years ago I started out in a completely different major. Looking back on it, I believe that was the result of Heavenly Father’s hand in my life, guiding me in a direction that he knows is best for me. At this moment in time, I am seriously thinking about pursing theatre (I am not sure what emphasis yet) as an advanced degree. I don’t know for sure that that is what I am going to do, but what I do know is that Heavenly Father will place people, opportunities, and experiences in my life that will ultimately guide me in the right direction, if I am living in the way that he asks.

As for this week, well, Anne Frank has taken up a large part of my time. It is going very well, and we were reviewed by the UTBA. I even got mentioned! http://www.utahtheaterbloggers.com/4796/the-worlds-most-famous-diary-live-on-stage

I am also helping out a couple of friends with their 336 scenes, so I have been memorizing and rehearsing for those. We preview them this week. And finally, I am still a bit ill. It has been going on two weeks now, but I am relieved to say that it is finally getting a bit better. I still have gunk in my throat and a bit of sniffling, but I have high hopes that it will go away soon.

My family is vacation in Florida right now, and I am slightly jealous because they will be going to Disneyworld this week, while I will be stuck in classes, rehearsals, and performances. Ah well.

So…that is it, in a nutshell!

Me. In "Anne Frank."

2011-06-01T19:44:00.000-07:00

Still. Ill.

2011-05-29T19:52:00.001-07:00

Tired. Bone-suckingly, achingly, horribly tired. Every day this week.

I haven’t felt this way since the end of my mission, when I got horribly and terribly ill. Don’t worry….it’s just a cold, I think, but it has lasted for nine days now. It is probably a good thing I didn’t get called back for the show I auditioned for, because I couldn’t sing, or even really talk yesterday (which is when the callbacks were, as far as I am aware). This has been one of the oddest colds I have ever had. It started out with just a really sore throat, in the top half, if that makes any sense. Then I just got really tired. Then I became the snot queen. The sore throat went away, and a stuffy head and cough took it’s place. Anyway, the priesthood blessing I received on Friday, or the nutella my mother brought to me, must be working, because I am feeling a bit better today. True, I have stayed in bed for most of the past three days, but I am at least awake today, for the most part! I stayed in bed until it was time to get ready for church, and then got ready and went. It was wonderful, as always. The bishop gave me and The Diary of Anne Frank a shout-out in sacrament meeting. I thought it was so kind of him to come to the show, say hello to me, and then to invite the ward to come as well!

I ended up having a coughing fit in the last hour of church today. That hasn’t happened to me in a long while, and it was not pleasant. I felt so badly for the people sitting next to me. We were having a combined priesthood and relief society meeting, so the room was fairly packed, and here I was, squished between two people, hacking my lungs out. I know that whenever someone next to me is ill, the last thing I want to do is be near them. But, hopefully I am not contagious any more, as I have had this illness for so long. I remember reading somewhere that you are at your most contagious before you even show any physical symptoms of illness….now, I don’t know if that is true, but that’s kind of funny/interesting, isn’t it?

I have had a couple of wonderful moments this week. One of them was a note that a friend left on my chair (the one that I sit in for three hours straight every night in Anne Frank). It was just a note saying thanks for everything that I was doing, but it meant so much to me! I had been ill all week, and it was taking quite the effort to come every night, and that was just what I needed to inspire me and help me to keep on going! It’s not that I don’t enjoy what I am doing, it is just that I prefer to be acting rather than playing, and sometimes it gets a bit disheartening. Anyway, it truly made my heart happy.

Another moment was learning about Viewpoints this week. Viewpoints is a technique of composition that provides a vocabulary for thinking about and acting upon movement and gesture. The six viewpoints (space, story, time, emotion, movement, and shape) are considered to be a logical way to examine and analyze movement, and are considered practical in creating staging with actors. We did a full three hours of it on Tuesday in class, and I had so much fun. I felt stretched and invigorated. I haven’t felt that way in such a long time, and it was nice to feel my creative “juices” flowing again!

Something I was thinking about this week is what exactly it means to be “pure in heart.” That is phrase that is used in the scriptures quite a lot, and it is something that I want to achieve. As I was thinking about it, my thoughts turned to the person I know who is the most pure in heart: my brother. I tried to figure out why he was, and this is what I came up with. He loves everyone. He doesn’t judge. He doesn’t compare. He doesn’t want to get ahead in the world. He is transparent—as in, he says what he thinks and he means what he says. He is such a good person and brother, as well as a wonderful example. I have been so blessed to have in my life.

Anyway, the week has gone well, despite the fact that I have been ill. Anne Frank is going fabulously. They cast and crew improved dramatically with the addition of an audience. And, for the most part, the show has gone fairly quickly each night for me, which I am grateful for, as I step onstage and sit down at 7:15 and don’t stand again until it is over, which is usually around 9:45/9:50.

To change the subject, after intense hours and hours of studying, I managed to get B’s on both of my music history tests this week. I never thought I would celebrate a B grade, but I definitely am this week!

My painting came this week! The one that went on sale, you know, of the cellist! It was, I have to admit, slightly disappointing, as it wasn’t exactly like the picture online. I am pretty sure that what he does is show the original online, and then, when someone orders one, he repaints it, as close to the original as possible. Don’t get me wrong, it is still beautiful, and I am very happy with it, but it isn’t as vibrant or as eye-catching as the one shown in his online gallery. Still though, I am happy to have it. It is growing on me, and I think that once it is framed, it will be shown to its best advantage.

My family brought it up, when they came to see the show on Friday night! I was ill, so I wasn’t able to hug any of them, but it was quite fun to see them before they took off for Florida for a couple of weeks. Did you know that Florida, in my opinion, is the state most visited by Scottish people. They seem to like going there for vacations. Anyway, my family is on vacation there, and I have to admit, I always worry a bit when they travel, simply because if anything was to happen to them, I would be utterly devastated. Not to say they are completely safe in our hometown, but travelling does tend to heighten the chance that something could happen! But, I am thinking happy thoughts!

So, that is me. Ill, but content with life. There is only about three weeks of school left, and for that, I am grateful! I am not sure yet if I will be taking summer classes. I wish that I had a show I could work on in the next few months. If I end up doing The Elephant Man, well, I don’t think rehearsals start until school does. And that would mean that I couldn’t really do another show, because it would probably run into that one! I am leaning towards doing it, but I would like to find out more of what would it would entail. Anyway, that is all, I believe.

Inspiration for the Day!

2011-05-29T17:30:00.000-07:00

Illness

2011-05-22T18:53:00.001-07:00

I am ill. Rubbishly, horribly, terribly ill. (Please notice the fact that I used the word “ill.” In Scotland, if you are sick, it means you are throwing up, which I am not—hence the usage of the word “ill.”) Anyway, it is a pretty rubbish state to be in. It started up on Friday night during the run-through of Anne Frank, lasted all day Saturday, and I hope, has culminated today. I have, quite literally, stayed in bed almost all day today and can only hope that I will be able to sleep tonight. I don’t have time to be ill this week. I have rehearsals for Anne Frank on Monday and Tuesday nights, and then the show starts on Wednesday. I told two of my friends I would help them with their 336 scenes. And I have that horrible music history class four days a week, two hours a day, as well as six hours of applied theatre, which I quite enjoy.

My usual inward chants of “Fight it, body! Fight it!” have apparently not worked. And I can only hope that the ice cream I ate for breakfast is doing its job and getting me better as quickly as possible.

Anyway, as for the week…well, Anne Frank is coming together nicely. I still have to sit, and sit, and sit, but I think I will survive.

I auditioned for a show yesterday, and I think it went fairly well. But we shall see. It was for a musical, and I always have a hard time telling whether it was good or bad, because the audition lasts for a grand total of five to ten seconds. I also didn’t know any of the people who were watching me, so we had nothing to say to each other. My audition wasn’t perfect, but it wasn’t horrible either. So, we shall see what happens. I would love to be in the show, but if I don’t make it, I will be in The Elephant Man, in the fall, at school. So, that is that! It is kind of nice to have a back-up plan! There was a slight tender mercy that happened in the audition yesterday…it was supposed to be a group audition (and let me tell you, I HATE those!), but no one else showed up at the time I picked, so I got to go in and audition by myself! I was quite pleased about that.

I also got together with a friend who I hadn’t seen for about three years! I went on a mission, and she went on a mission, so in short, it had been a while! It was so much fun seeing her, catching up, and just talking about missions and life in general.

And, I think that was my week in a nutshell. I have yet another music history test this week. So far, I am definitely an average student in that class, which I dislike intensely. I hate classes in which you study, and study, and study, and get “C’s” on the tests. This is one of the classes. Which is why I hate it.

But, on a happy note, it has been raining all week…which has made me think of Scotland…which has made me happy!

I am a bit of a hopeless romantic...

2011-05-15T22:31:00.000-07:00

"The Notebook" (2004)
“So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s gonna be really hard. We’re gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day. Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me? 30 years from now, 40 years from now? What’s it look like? If it’s with him, go. Go! I lost you once, I think I can do it again. If I thought that’s what you really wanted. But don’t you take the easy way out.”
—Noah (Ryan Gosling) to Allie (Rachel McAdams)

"On Golden Pond" (1981)
“Listen to me, mister. You’re my knight in shining armor. Don’t forget it.”
—Ethel (Katharine Hepburn) to Norman (Henry Fonda)

"Notting Hill" (1999)
“Don’t forget I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.”
—Anna (Julia Roberts) to William (Hugh Grant)

"Gone with the Wind" (1939)
“No, I don’t think I will kiss you, although you need kissing, badly. That’s what’s wrong with you. You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how.”
—Rhett (Clark Gable) to Scarlett (Vivien Leigh)

"The Princess Bride" (1987)
20th Century Fox
“As you wish.”
—Westley (Cary Elwes) to Buttercup (Robin Wright)

"When Harry Met Sally" (1989)
Columbia Pictures
“I love that you get cold when it’s 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle in your nose when you’re looking at me like I’m nuts. I love that after I spend day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it’s not because I’m lonely, and it’s not because it’s New Year’s Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”
—Harry (Billy Crystal) to Sally (Meg Ryan)

"Sleepless in Seattle" (1993)
Tri-Star Pictures
“It was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were supposed to be together … and I knew it. I knew it the very first time I touched her. It was like coming home. .. only to no home I’d ever known … I was just taking her hand to help her out of a car and I knew. It was like … magic.”
—Sam (Tom Hanks)

"Pride & Prejudice" (2005)
“…If, however, your feelings have changed, I will have to tell you: you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love … I love … I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on.”
—Darcy (Matthew MacFadyen) to Elizabeth (Keira Knightley)

"Casablanca" (1942)
Warner Bros. Pictures
“Here’s looking at you, kid.”
—Rick (Humphrey Bogart) to Ilsa (Ingrid Bergman)

"Love Story" (1970)
Paramount Pictures
“Love means never having to say you’re sorry.”
—Jennifer (Ali MacGraw) to Oliver (Ryan O’Neal)

"Sense and Sensibility" (1995)
“My heart is, and always will be, yours.” — Edward Ferrars (Hugh Grant)

"The Apartment" (1960)
United Artists
“Miss Kubelik, one doesn’t get to be a second administrative assistant around here unless he’s a pretty good judge of character, and as far as I’m concerned you’re tops. I mean, decency-wise and otherwise-wise.” — C.C. Baxter (Jack Lemmon)

I need to remember this...

2011-05-15T22:11:00.001-07:00

Cheers.

2011-05-15T21:48:00.001-07:00

What a week. Or not. Not too much has happened this week. Music history has taken over my life…but not in a good way. However, my applied theatre class makes up for it. We taught our first workshop this week, using theatre of the oppressed. Megan and I chose a scenario that was a high school setting in which there were different cliques and lots of prejudice. The best part of the workshop, for me, was when my old cello teacher and her twelve year old son showed up towards the end. They had no idea what was going on, but jumped in anyway. We were halfway through the second activity, and they began to participate, but when we got to the third activity, magic happened.

We played a game in which one person moves as slowly as possible. Every time they move, someone in the group needs to support them with a part of their body. For example, if they move their hand, someone should insert their head, or shoulder underneath it to support and lift it up. If the person moves their foot, someone should put their hands or their back, or whatever they think of first, under it. What happens is that the person begins moving through the air, completed supported by the group. If done perfectly, the person should feel weightless. Anyway, James (the twelve year old) volunteered to be the person who moves. It was so amazing, seeing him flying through the air, supported by ten or so other people. I could see that he was having the time of his life! And afterward, he and my cello teacher participated in the discussion, and I could see that they had learned so much and were applying it to their real life! I was so worried that they wouldn’t have a good experience, and that they might have a bad one! But, I am happy to report, they both enjoyed it thoroughly!

Other than that, my week was pretty ordinary. Anne Frank went onstage this week, and the upcoming week is tech week. Should be fun. Sort of. I finally received the projections that I will be playing under, but I am a bit confused, because the text and the pictures are on two different tracks, and I was under the assumption that they are going to be together. I am pretty sure they are, but that makes figuring out what music to play under it difficult, because I can’t see the whole thing.

I also went to see Barta’s show this week. She was phenomenal, and it was so much fun watching her, and the character she created. The show was about a woman who became famous, for singing badly. She was convinced that she had perfect pitch and sang beautifully. I loved her character because she had so much light and happiness. She looked on the bright side of things and lived her dreams. I ended up going out to dinner with Barta after the show, and we had a good conversation, if I do say so myself. I am so lucky to know her! I finally went and gardened with her on Saturday, and enjoyed myself thoroughly. Her yard is beautiful, she has wonderful pets, and it was fun just spending time with her. It was peaceful and just the right temperature as well! I am going to try and go every Saturday morning I think.

That night, I went to the dollar theatre with some of my friends and saw the movie, “The Adjustment Bureau.” I have a lot of feelings about that movie. I am still thinking about it, so I suppose that is one mark of a good movie….but, it is just that there were so many contradictions within it…an example would be that the characters had agency, but didn’t. Anyway, it is worth seeing. I did like the romantic aspect of the movie, I have to admit. The two characters loved each other, and fought for that love. I also realized, when watching the previews, that I have seen way too many movies in the past few weeks!

Today (Sunday) was remarkable in the fact that I learned that the first counselor in my bishopric grew up with my dad! I had a good conversation with him today, and he said a lot of really nice things about him. And….after church, I went outside and played my cello for a good hour and a half to two hours. It was beautiful outside, and I had so much fun just playing songs that I knew and melodies that came into my head.

I think I am ready for the week…though I might say differently after I take my music history exams tomorrow….

Wish me luck!

I might just happen to love this singer's voice....

2011-05-13T22:13:00.001-07:00

Why the Random Pictures and Other Things

2011-05-08T22:59:00.000-07:00

So, I was thinking....(shocking, I know), but sometimes I post things on here that are not my own...that I have found in various places. I don't take credit for them, and oftentimes I post the link where I found them. I just wanted you all, whoever you all are, to know that I don't post those things because I don't have anything to say, or because I want to make this blog "interesting" and "colorful." I pose those things (pictures, songs, movies, quotes, etc.) because they inspire me, make me laugh, and/or touch me in some delicious and amazing way. And, I hope that somehow, they can do the same for you!

Rain. History. Rehearsals. And Mom.

2011-05-08T22:02:00.000-07:00

So, I actually love the sound of rain falling. I love the mood that the sound of rain and the grey clouds create. I like the coolness that the water brings to the air, and I LOVE, love, love the smell of rain.

Anyway, the reason I bring rain up is that I drove back up North today, and it rained the entire time. I had quite a pleasant ride the first little while, and then, about halfway through the mountains, it was like doomsday had hit. The rain began falling in torrential torrents, the road became covered with water, and I became that annoyingly slow driver that everyone hates. However, from my point of view, I would rather be slow than dead. My uncle passed away a few years ago when driving in a rainstorm because he hydroplaned, and invariably, whenever I drive in rain or snow, I think of him. However, I did make it safely back, and for that I am grateful. It actually seemed as if a number of other drivers on the road were trying to be careful as well, and as it is usually the drivers that fly by as if it is a hot, dry, summer day that scare me….I was mostly not petrified on my way home.

I took my first testing center test, in something like three years, this week. It was not my best moment ever, I will admit, but…I am choosing to look on the positive side of things. The test was for music history, and that is most definitely not my favorite subject matter ever. The tests are full of material that is utterly pointless in real life. I mean, honestly, when I am ever going to identify Sammartini’s Symphony in F Major or Pergolesi’s La Serva Padrona except possibly while sitting in a darkened movie theatre? I am sure I will shout to the world that one was composed in the 1740s and is in binary form, and the other is an Intermezzo, was a “sleeper hit,” and was composed in the 1730s! And, I will surely count it my highest achievement in life that I can identify a PAC and an IAC when I see one. Anyway, the teacher is excellent, I just am uninterested in the subject matter.

Rehearsals for The Diary of Anne Frank are going well. However, I miss being utilized all the time, as I was in Macbeth and King Lear. I can understand why I am not, but still, I feel like I sit and do nothing an awful lot, and once the show actually starts, I won’t be able to read a book during those long moments of nothingness, because I will be onstage. I suppose when we actually do the show, I will feel a bit more useful, because I will play before the show, during intermission, and after it is over as well. I was thinking about that the other day though, and I am going to have to definitely go to the bathroom before I go onstage, because once I am on there, I won’t be leaving! It is more than likely that I will be sitting for a good three or so hours, because I start playing thirty minutes before the show, the show itself is probably about two hours, I will play for 15 minutes during the intermission, and afterward for about ten or so minutes. I have mixed feelings about playing the cello for the show. On one hand, I absolutely love it, and on the other, I would much, much rather be acting. And, that is really it in a nutshell.

Ah! My grandmother celebrated her 91^st birthday today! Pretty impressive huh! I was thinking that this bodes well for me, because my great, great, (maybe great), grandmother on my mother’s side lived to be 107. This is my grandmother on my father’s side, so...in short, longevity is in my family! Though I suppose that is only a good thing in certain circumstances. But anyway, that thought made me happy.

So, yeah. That was my week.

However, before I stop typing, I feel that I should add that I have the most amazing mother in the world (for various reasons).

I thought that these were amazing!

2011-05-08T21:17:00.000-07:00

JOYFUL MOMENTS!

2011-05-08T00:26:00.001-07:00

So, I know I already posted this....but I am reposting it, because, miracle of miracles, I was able to purchase this painting...or rather, my parents were, for a small sum of money. My heart is truly happy!

No Internet yet, but it's coming....soon.

2011-05-05T10:32:00.000-07:00

Hatred. Pure, unadulterated hatred. That is what I feel for my music history class. It has been about three years since I last took a music class, and the comparison of my music class to my applied theatre class has made me realize how much more passionate I am about theatre. Don’t get me wrong, I love music. Really. I do! I love playing and listening, but in all truth and honesty, I could care less about the history of music. And, the class is four days a week, two hours a day, which means that the total time spent in class is eight hours a week—a ridiculous sum, in my mind. And, there are ten examinations in a six week period: five written exams and five listening exams! Blah. That is all I have to say on the subject. Blah. Blah. Blah. When reading the textbook, I swear my mind turns off, and let me tell you, that is not a good thing when it comes testing time.

However, my applied theatre class is excellent, and makes up for the awfulness of my music history class…just a bit. Though to be fair, the teacher of my history class is excellent; it is just the subject matter I so dislike. Anyway, in the theatre class, we are learning all about how theatre can be applied in a community, a prison, a library, a museum, etc., to help resolve problems that are already there, or at the very least, get people talking about them. What I love about it is that the facilitator doesn’t force a subject on the participants. Instead, they choose the subject and how it is presented. The facilitator just helps with bringing that subject out, and sometimes the form of the piece. I think I love this so much because then what the participants are doing truly becomes theirs!

On a side note, I LOVE chocolate.

Also, this week I began going to rehearsals for The Diary of Anne Frank. It was very interesting, going from a professional production to a college production. Not that it won’t be good—I am sure it will be. It is just that I feel the production at Utah Shakes was on a different level than the ones here…which makes sense. Of the ten actors in Macbeth, two had undergraduate and graduate degrees in acting, six had undergraduate degrees, and the two who were still in school…well, one was almost finished with her acting degree, and the other was me. I have to admit, I have been very blessed in the opportunities that I have been given in the theatre world. I have learned so much and can see where I need to go next! It is kind of amazing, when you think about it. And I am so very, very grateful.

Other than that, this week has been filled with movies, books, and homework. I have gone to them movie theatre a couple of times. I walked out of one, because it was stupid, pointless, about a drug addict (though to be fair, it was an unusual drug), who eventually started having problems because he was on drugs…when he started drinking blood, I left.The other was much, much better, though it did not compare to the book, in any way. They did stay fairly true to the story, which I appreciated, but when you have a read a book that captures your imagination and pulls you into the story, I have found that it can never be quite as accurately represented on the screen. If I did not compare the two (and I really shouldn’t, as they are two different art forms), I would probably say that the movie was excellent…but when the movie is based on the book, I really can’t help the comparison.

I had kind of an amazing experience in the temple this week. I have been worrying about which direction to take my life in, and it was something I was pondering there. As I left the celestial room, a man came up to me and said, “I just felt like I should tell you that you were really great in Handel.” My first response was, “What?” I had no clue what he was talking about, and assumed that he had mistaken me for someone else. However, as the conversation progressed, I realized that he was referring to Joyful Noise, the show about Handel that I did in December, four months ago. It was kind of an answer that I needed at that moment in time. I need to finish my theatre education degree, and very possibly, continue in the theatrical field—possibly in performance!

Probably one of the best aspects of the week is the fact that I utterly love my new roommates! I have been truly blessed these past two semesters to have great roommates. I only have two in this house, and they are both truly wonderful, fabulous, and amazing people. In short, I have found that life is just better when the people you are living with are good people! And I am so looking forward to getting to know these people more!

I can also testify that Heavenly father truly does have a hand in my life. He knows me personally. And whenever I look back on my life, I see how he has placed people in my path and given me opportunities to become better, and to become the best version of myself.

Thoughts.

2011-04-26T20:25:00.001-07:00

So, in case you were wondering, I think that school is harder than real life. I haven't been in school for four months. I had a real job, with long hours, that took lots of energy, commitment and passion....and yet, after one day of school, in which I had five hours of classes....I am utterly exhausted. I hope I am not getting sick.

Also, I have not lived in the "music world" on campus for along time. I am taking a music class this term, and I am pretty sure there is a reason I never quite felt like I fit in in the four years I spent in that major....I don't! Not in a bad way...it's just that these music history classes, composers, forms of music, and more blah-di-blah, blah, blah....just don't interest me. At. All. Don't get me wrong, I can learn what is being taught, but it takes a lot of focus and energy, because, to put it politely, I am bored stiff. Wish me luck.

The end of something great.

2011-04-24T20:16:00.000-07:00

It. Is. Over.

Four months of absolute amazingness. Fabulous experiences. Great people. Wonderful sights. Teaching moments, in which I was both the teacher and the student. And, best of all, I got paid to do what I love doing. Life truly cannot get any better than that, in my opinion. It is funny….four months of constant contact with other people has a way of making you all friends in the end. Don’t get me wrong…often times, we got on each other nerves, but I feel that I have come away from this experience with nine people who I love, and who also, to differing extents, love me. And that is a nice feeling.

The thing that I find hardest about change is letting go of people. I want the friendships that have developed to last, and sometimes, the thought of losing those relationships really hurts. And that, combined with the fact that the future is so uncertain, makes the past seem even more inviting.

The feelings of sadness hit when we returned to our home base. I finally realized that it was over, and I didn’t want it to be. There were parts that I definitely wouldn’t miss, but on the whole, I wouldn’t have minded if this tour lasted a bit longer. That night though, I was watching the movie Castaway, with Tom Hanks, and his character said something that really “hit” me, you might say. At the very end, Hanks has once again lost the woman that he loves. When talking about it, however, instead of being negative, he is surprisingly positive. He said, “I’m so sad that I’ve lost Kelly, but I’m so grateful she was with me on that island. And I know what I have to do now. Gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide will bring.” I started comparing that statement/experience to my life, and I realized that they were somewhat similar! I am truly sad that I will be losing the relationships that I have gained. I am sad that I will no longer be a part of this tour. But, I am grateful that I had these nine people with me these past four months. And I need to just keep on breathing. I need to move forward with faith. And just as he said, tomorrow the sun will rise, and who knows what the tide will bring! Amazing and wonderful things have happened in the year I have been home from my mission, and I am utterly certain that God’s hand will continue to be in my life. More opportunities will arise, and more wonderful and amazing people will be placed in my path.

As for this past week, it has probably been one of the best on tour. We had our best two performances, in my opinion. We were able to perform at the university where Chris (our director) teaches. It is also about five minutes away from the university where both Kelly and I go to school. So, not only was it an opportunity to perform for our director and his friends, but many of ours as well. The house held about two hundred people, and it was completely sold out. The show was fabulous that night; we were all full of energy, and suddenly, it came alive again. It isn’t that we haven’t been doing our best these past months, but I think we just got used to it. This performance helped us to get excited about it again! The energy carried over to the next day as well, which I was very grateful for, because it was my hometown! Once again, the performance was wonderful.

At the end of the week, when we finished the tour, I got a haircut, which I was exceedingly excited about….until NO ONE noticed that it got cut! I mean, seriously, I have been living with these people 24/7 for the past three months, and not one of them noticed! However, it feels lovely and I am happy with it! We spent a lot of time together the last few days. We had dinner at a wonderful steak house with the the educational director. Then afterward, we had banana cream pie in Josh’s apartment, and just hung around listening to the mix of tour songs Adam had created for us and talking. I left when people started smoking the hookah, but it was a good night! The next morning, five of us (Aaron, Kelly, me, Josh, and Whip) went and had breakfast together. Adam had woken me up to say goodbye when he left at eight, and Becca and Eliot I had said goodbye to the night before, as they left around five. When we got back, I packed up, said goodbye to everyone, promised to visit the three who will be at the festival this summer, and then left.

I went shopping at Walmart before heading home and bought some fabulous shirts. (I think my favorite is the one with a muppet on it in neon colors that glows in the dark). But anyway, I then got on the road and finally arrived home! It was nice to come home for real! Mom fixed fabulous food, we went to the movie Rio, church today was great, as was the lunch and dinner afterward, and this evening has been good too. Tomorrow I move back up north and start the next episode in my life.

“Who knows what the tide will bring in!”

I am going to use this in the future....

2011-04-24T16:50:00.001-07:00

This is truly phenomenal!

2011-04-24T16:28:00.000-07:00

This is an advertisement for a phone...which I don't really care about. But, the advertisement itself is exceedingly creative, amazing, and fun to watch! I know it intrigues me partly because it involves music, but I am pretty sure even non-music lovers would like this! (Sheesh! Talk about a confusing sentence!) Anyway, this is truly brilliant, if I do say so myself, and I don't even want to think about how many hours it took! So, now that I have been going on for a bit...enjoy Bach's Cantata 147, Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring played by a ball rolling down a track of innumerable pieces of wood.

Why is this not in my town?

2011-04-24T12:50:00.001-07:00

I love the color in this picture! In short, it makes me happy!

A week late, but better late than never....

2011-04-24T12:02:00.001-07:00

Proficiencies. 150 kids in a workshop. Movie party + a Swiss dinner. Tangled! Chris Clark. Friends. And no sleep.

These things were the main points of my week. On Friday I went down to BYU and completed my proficiencies. I have no idea how I did….I felt good about my first monologue. My second one…well, ironically enough (it was from Macbeth, and I have been doing it every day for almost four months now), I felt a little bit awkward about my body movements. That was a bit frustrating, but ah well. I figure whatever happens happens. If I score high enough to get into the class I want, well…all’s well and good in the world. If I do not, then I am meant to be doing something else.

While doing these proficiencies, I got to see a number of my friends in the HFAC as well, and that was lovely. There was one group of friends (whom I love dearly by the way) that I got spend a good chunk of the night with; we had a movie party, ate a fabulous dinner that consisted of three different types of bread, three different types of vegetables, three different types of meat, three different types of cheese, and salad. There was a (I think it was called this) raquetuer, in which all of us melted our cheese. We each had a little platter and would put whatever type of cheese on it that we wanted. We would then melt the cheese on the rack thing-a-ma-jig, and then pour it all over all our food. It was one of the most delicious things I have ever tasted. And, let me tell you, I had so much fun getting together with my friends whom I have not seen all semester; it was wonderful to catch up on their lives and spend time with them.

On Friday, as well, we ended up teaching workshops in which there were, at least, 150 kids per workshop! Normally we only have 30, so you can see why it would be a bit intimidating! However, it ended up working out really well. Adam and I were teaching together, and we ended up using as many of the kids as we could. And, surprisingly enough, it turned out really well! I think the kids enjoyed it, and I know I did. Something I have learned about teaching these past four months is that I need to stop stressing about it so much. I just need to relax and go with the flow. When I do that, it turns out much better for myself, and for the kids whom I am teaching.

Friday night, after the exceedingly long day (we had a performance, load out, 150 kids in workshops, proficiencies, dinner, and a movie party), I slept over at my friend’s house. They had a tap final in the morning, and I got to see them practice it that night. They were pretty good, if I do say so myself! I truly wish I could dance…ah well, someday. The next morning, after their final, they were headed off to the temple, and gave me a lift to Chris’ house. He is our director, and a good portion of the cast had come down on Friday night to party with him. Three of them had slept over, and we ended up eating breakfast with his family (his wife made the most fabulous waffles, syrup, and fruit concoction), then lounging about his living room, and then eventually had lunch with him and went to a thrift store as well! It was a good day, in short.

However, all this combined to make a rather sleepless week for me! It didn’t help that this was our hardest week on tour, in terms of hours. We had long days ever single day.

So, now, I am tired, I have my own room, and I am ready for bed, even though I took a two hour nap three hours ago. So, I think I will read my scriptures, brush my teeth, take out my contacts, and then go to bed. Call time is 6:30 tomorrow, which means I need to get up around 5. We are only spending one night here, which means I need to have my suitcase all packed up tomorrow as well.

We have four more performances. That is it. How crazy is that? Change is right around the corner, and while I am looking forward to it, I know I will miss the people and the experiences I have had these past four months. Isn’t that how it always is? Those were the things I missed from my mission as well…..however, there are always new friends to make and new things to learn. So here’s to moving upward an onward.

In short, I WANT this painting!

2011-04-11T13:52:00.000-07:00

Rhapsody, by Leonid Afremov

Vic-tor-y!!!

2011-04-10T21:54:00.000-07:00

So…..this week…. (in all truth and honesty, I just had to ask the three other cast members in my room what we did this week)….we went to the Flaming Gorge, in the snow. I took lots of pictures….some of them turned out, and let’s just say that some of the didn’t. It was slightly crazy; I have never been sightseeing in a blizzard. It was quite fun, though I don’t think certain members of my family would have enjoyed it if it had been them rather than our cast. So, it was a good thing it was our cast rather than my family!

Other than that—oh yes. We stayed in spider infested cabins in Manila. Okay. To be fair, they were only spider infested because the wind was blowing about twenty gazillion miles an hour, and so the poor, disgusting creatures were just seeking shelter in the only place out of the wind. We were staying in conjoined cabins. Whip and I were in one, and Adam and Daniel were in the one next to us. Whip and I settled into our very nice cabin, and then about two hours later we headed to dinner. At this point, we found out that Daniel and Adam had killed about fifteen spiders in their cabin, and two of those spiders had crawled across Daniel’s face while sleeping. You can imagine my joy when I heard about this.

I tried to calm myself by saying that I had been in our cabin for two hours without seeing any spiders, except for that one, possibly imagined, spider. Let’s just say that this calming method did not work. Eventually, and thankfully, when we returned to our cabin, we didn’t see a single spider. However, we did cover the holes by the outlets with tape, that I supplied from my backpack. By the end of the two days, we had killed only three spiders, and I had imagined many horrible things, like waking up in a bed of crushed spiders…. So that was Manila.

We also lived in Evanston, Wyoming for two days. I have one word: windy. Okay, two words: really windy. And when I say “really,” I mean, really really. I think that is all I have to say about Evanston. Well. Wait. Manila beat Evanston out power and strength-wise, but Evanston wins in regards to length. I swear, (well, I don’t really swear, but you get my meaning), every time I stepped outside, the wind was blowing. Wind and I….well, let’s just say our relationship is constantly changing, usually in a negative direction.

And now, we are back in Salt Lake. I wandered around Temple Square tonight, and you know how my eyes get all watery and red when I get tired. Well, two sister missionaries (one from Denmark and one from the Phillipines) approached me and asked if I was crying. Apparently I looked upset. We ended up having a really good conversation though, in which I definitely stepped outside of my comfort zone.

And church today was amazing. There were two members of the seventy there, one of which visited Scotland when I was serving there. I ended up getting the chance to speak to him, and was able to thank him for the spirit that he brought and the way I left that zone conference feeling inspired.

I also had a really wonderful experience in Relief Society. I haven’t born my testimony for a few months…actually, probably since Las Vegas, which was in February. So, I finally got up and bore my testimony at the end of Relief Society, and felt really good about it. I felt the Spirit as I spoke, reconfirming to me that what I said was true. Anyway, afterward, I had a couple women come and thank me for bearing my testimony, saying that it had really helped them. It meant a lot, knowing that I was able to help them. That sounds a little cheesy, but it did mean a lot.

And now….we hit the worst week of tour…

A Happy Website!

2011-04-10T17:39:00.001-07:00

http://aggsliterature.wordpress.com/100-best-first-lines-from-novels/

Good thoughts.

2011-04-10T17:13:00.000-07:00

Salt Lake Tribune Review

2011-04-08T12:45:00.000-07:00

http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/entertainment/51569021-81/production-macbeth-utah-shakespeare.html.csp

(Steve Griffin | The Salt Lake Tribune) Lady Macbeth, played by Kelly Marie Hennessey, screams during the Utah Shakespeare Festival's traveling production of "Macbeth" at the Utah Cultural Celebration Center in West Valley City.

‘Macbeth’: Twice the sound. Twice the fury.

BY BEN FULTON

The Salt Lake Tribune

First published Apr 06 2011 02:33PM
Updated 4 hours ago

Power corrupts. Power, combined with conniving neighborhood witches or "weird sisters," corrupts absolutely.

For centuries, the story of "Macbeth" has served as the ultimate drama of unchecked ambition. So of course the classic political tragedy remains relevant in a year when Middle East dictators resort to bloodshed to preserve power, and the hope of political reform at home turns cynical.

The parallels are obvious, says Christopher Clark, assistant professor of theater at Utah Valley University who directed the Utah Shakespeare Festival’s Shakespeare in the Schools touring production.

"The play shows us how power and violence are intertwined," Clark said. "Now thanks to current events, we know what a dictatorship means in the context of this play. People come into power with the promise of a better life, and then they turn into their predecessors. It’s a cycle."

For Peder Melhuse, director of the University of Utah’s student production at the Babcock Theatre (which opens Friday, April 8, and runs through April 17), the story’s most enduring appeal is its atmosphere of dread. The witches make the show. "[Macbeth] keeps coming back to them," Melhuse said.

—

A tale of creeping, and creeped-out, power • The first, most obvious, difference between the student and touring productions is the number of witches in the casts.

With 10 witches, the Babcock Theatre invites an entire coven onstage. USF’s touring production, by contrast, fulfills the Bard’s bare minimum of three.

Regardless of number, of course, the Thane of Cawdor gets his inevitable comeuppance.

"King Lear" may be the tragedy treasured by parents who know the heartbreak of children gone wrong. "Othello" may be the favorite of adolescents tuning their romantic instincts to the pull of jealousy. But theatergoers of any age seem to have little problem understanding the allure of social climbing that bewitches Macbeth.

That, plus the play’s bracing immediacy free of Shakespeare’s familiar use of subplots, makes it a favorite of educators, said Joshua Midgett, tour manager of Utah Shakespeare Festival’s Shakespeare in the Schools production. By the end of its run late this month, the USF cast assembled from national auditions will have performed "Macbeth" to more than 35,000 people, mostly students, in Utah, Nevada, Arizona and Wyoming. The show has played at a variety of venues, ranging from schools and community centers to prisons.

At the U., Melhuse, a professor in the Actor Training Program, said he’s long wanted to direct a production that emphasized the role of witches in Macbeth’s demise. So he’s turned the caldron’s steam up to 11 and makes room in the script for an almost jazzlike witches’ dance.

"The only thing more I could wish for is a rotating stage," Melhuse said. Instead, the production employs a tree as a stage prop that serves as something of home base for all those witches.

—

"Macbeth," micro and macro • The festival’s touring production presents a streamlined production, with a cast of seven. That includes cellist Jennifer Chandler, who composed a solo score for every scene. She even puts down her instrument to play a daughter of King Duncan and other minor parts.

The festival cast has played stages of virtually every shape and size during its Utah tour. With every new venue, the cast conduct small run-throughs to accustom themselves to new acoustics.

The touring show’s minimal set — labeled a "garden shed" design by the director — depicts some of the play’s bloodiest scenes through drapes of laundry sheets hung on stepladders. The aesthetic suggests that anyone interested in Shakespeare’s classic stories could mount a production without benefit of a grand-size stage and even more grandiose props. Some of the props, particularly the ladders, also symbolize the play’s various themes, such as the climbing nature of ambition.

Art Romo, who attended the show at the Utah Cultural Celebration Center last week, remembered seeing the play during his elementary-school days in Taos, N.M. He appreciated the opportunity to share the same experience with his grandchildren, Christian Romo, 10, and Christian’s older sister, Aliya.

"I didn’t understand all the language when I first saw it at their age, but I understood its power, and the play for power behind the story," Romo said.

—

The blood of realism • If theatergoers don’t understand all the nuances of Shakespeare’s language at Babcock, the production’s simple set design shouldn’t be a stumbling block.

The USF production plays Macbeth’s downfall as swift, sharp and nimble. In contrast, the vision of the Babcock’s production is of a man slogging through the quicksand of foggy castle walls. In complicated battle scenes, the witches are employed to carry bodies off stage and even wipe blood off the floors.

The cast benefited from the skills of fight choreographer Ken Merckx, who was flown in from Los Angeles to help stage the battle scenes.

If realism counts, Babcock’s production is by far bloodier. The USF touring production crafts the scene of Banquo’s ghost with inventive use of scarlet rags hanging from eyes, pouring from open wounds and pulled out of actors’ guts. At Babcock, in the climactic scene, theater fake blood runs and splatters all over the characters and the floor.

Despite the staging differences, both productions evoke visceral reactions from inexperienced and experienced theatergoers.

Aaron Gaines, a New York City-based actor who plays the lead role in the USF show, said he’s struck by how various audiences react to the play’s ferocity.

"We see so much violence on television and the media that people don’t really question it in that context," Gaines said. "It’s a lot more jarring when it’s right in front of them."

A Laughing Matter...

2011-04-07T10:20:00.001-07:00

Antithesis

2011-04-03T21:58:00.001-07:00

Alright, so, here’s what happened.

I sobbed. I sobbed some more. And then…I sobbed some more. I called my mother at 1 in the morning. (And let me tell you, she is a pretty amazing Mom.) I used about ten million tissues, as my nose becomes a faucet when I cry. And then, I slept. I was on the verge of tears the next day. Then, slowly, I seemed to return mostly to normality. Luckily, however, all of this seemed, somehow, to make me feel closer and better friends with some of the people around me. Funny how that works, isn’t it?

In short, I offended someone this week, and was quite plainly told about it by the person I offended. They weren’t trying to hurt me, but it felt like I was being attacked, and I felt moisture begin to pool in my eyes. (In my defense, I am going to claim that it was nearing that time of the month—hence—wild hormones.) So, I quickly retreated using the all time amazing excuse of, “I have something in my eyes. Contacts are rubbish, aren’t they.” Then, once in the bathroom, I locked the door, and the tears began to fall.

To be fair, what I was told about, quite plainly, did happen. The actions that offended this person…well, I did indeed do. But, in all truth and honesty, I didn’t mean to offend; I wasn’t even trying to! But, because I did, I felt like a failure…as a teacher, as a friend, and as a person.

But, after this episode of bawling behind a locked door with only a toilet for company, something good happened. But, a bit of background first: I am not one of those lucky people who look beautiful when they cry. And, (this is the frustrating part for me) it is very obvious when I have cried, because the whites of my eyes become bright red, my eyes look sleepy, and my confounded nose continues to run.

Anyway, the good thing. Someone came—well actually, two people did. I tried my best to act as if I was just cleaning my cello. You know, “My eyes are only red because of the dust flying through the air!” However, this person just gave me a hug, and tried to listen to my stutterings (I literally can’t talk when I cry, no matter how hard I try!).

And, in short, it truly helped. I really needed someone that day. And someone came to the rescue.

The rest of my week seems rather insignificant beside that incident. Nothing important, different, or amazing happened (except the sun did shine brightly and beautifully on one day). But, that day was special. It is true, I haven’t felt that awful in a long time, but, as described above, there was a truly bright moment in it. And, I felt that I gained a friend.

2011-04-02T00:43:00.001-07:00

Time is passing...quickly!

2011-03-27T20:41:00.000-07:00

I have to admit, I had a harder time motivating myself to write this week, because my last companion is now home, and therefore, I no longer need to write her. However, I am convinced of the importance of keeping a journal. Today I was thinking about several reasons why it is so important to keep a record of our lives. One: Posterity--my children, children's children, and so on and so forth will (hopefully) want to learn about me. Two: I forget things quickly. Three: Today I was asking myself if I didn't write anything down, when I was gone, would I have really existed...at least for those who came after me? I know in all reality, yes, I will have existed, but I want something of me to remain when I am gone. Hence this blog. Fourth: I believe that God has asked us to keep a record of our lives. Anyway, on to the week.

What a week it has been! In truth, it has been rather long, but the weekend more than made up for it. The week consisted of the usual…performances, workshops, load in and load outs. We performed and taught at a school this week in which the kids in our workshop were autistic or handicapped. It was interesting, to say the least. It worked, but I was completely unprepared for it, and so it took me a bit of time to get my mind wrapped around it.

This weekend was wonderful, however. Whip’s parents invited us to their home on Friday night and made us all an absolutely wonderful dinner. It was so wonderful to be in a home, and a home in which the spirit was present as well. The food was excellent, and the company was even better.

You know, I was just thinking, it is crazy…there is only about a month left, and then this will be over. Time truly flies along, faster than you ever imagine it will.

Anyway, back to the weekend. On Saturday, nine of us went to the Hare Krishna Temple in Spanish Fork, where they were celebrating the Festival of Colors. I had never been before, and let me tell you, it was phenomenal! In short, what happens is that everyone throws brightly colored chalk at everyone else! At one point, everyone throws it up in the air at the same time, and while it was amazing, it was also so hard to breath! I had so much fun though. I believe, however, that this is something I would not want to go to by myself; you need good friends with you. It is because I had friends with me that it was fun!

Sunday was also wonderful. Three of us got up early and went to “Music and the Spoken Word,” which is the longest running broadcast in the world. The Mormon Tabernacle Choir sings in the Tabernacle every Sunday, without fail, and you can go watch it live if you want. It has been quite a while since I have done that, and it was well worth the time!

Kelly, Todd, and I went to church with Whip and her family, and afterwards went to their house for dinner. Once again, it was truly wonderful; I want to home to be like that someday….a home in which the spirit can dwell. I am truly, truly grateful to them for letting us impose upon them, not once, but twice. It made a perfect end to the week!

A thought...

2011-03-20T21:06:00.001-07:00

Today, a little boy came running up to me with a huge smile on his face and a small car in his hand. After looking at me for a bit, he smiled and handed me the car. I smiled back, turned the car around, and whooshed it off my hand into his! He grinned at me, laughed, and then ran off.

It made me think, why do I not just run up to people with a smile on my face and start talking? I believe that, more often than not, they would smile back and begin talking as well....and then, I would have made a new friend.

Resolution...approach new people. Don't wait for them to approach me.