I am utterly exhausted.
I have spent most of this day sleeping.
As I posted to facebook today, “Thank heaven for Sundays.” It has been a good week, but such a tiring
one. The
Elephant Man opened, and we have had five performances. Every single one has sold out, and as a
result of that, we are extending for a week.
This is good, but it means I will be unable to attend the football
game with my mother and brother on the 19th. I was so looking forward to it, not because I
like football, but because I knew how much my brother was going to love
it. And, it was going to be fun spending
time with them as well. On the bright
side though, unlike them, I will not freeze!
The show is going very, very, very well. It has also been well received. The audiences, for the most part, seem to
truly enjoy it. Then again, I seriously
doubt that someone who had problems with the show would come up to me and rant
about it, though I do believe that my friends would be honest. I messed up on our preview night; I said the
wrong scene title, and I was rather upset with myself, but overall I have felt
fairly good about my performances.
We had an ACTF judge come last night (Saturday). We had been told that he was going to judge
us, and we performed brilliantly. It
was, quite honestly, the best I have seen the done, or done myself. Then, it turned out our stage manager (who
hasn’t exactly been on the ball through the entire rehearsal process) had
either been misinformed, or had misinformed us.
The judge did indeed come, but he came for designs, and not for
acting. So….that was a bit
disappointing.
I auditioned for Love’s
Labour’s Lost, and Little Eyolf
on Saturday. Barta is directing Little Eyolf and Stephanie Love’s Labour’s Lost. Because of The Elephant Man, I was only able to attend the callbacks, which is
plus and a minus. It meant I didn’t need
to perform the monologues I had prepared, but it also meant that my
subconscious was telling me that I wasn’t there on my own merit….I was only
there because they were being kind.
However, Barta at least knows me and what I can do. I actually felt pretty good about that
audition, though I didn’t really feel that great about my other one. Ah well.
The concept for Love’s Labour’s
Lost is interesting. It is going to
be set in the 40’s/50’s during the World War.
There will be pilots, and nurses, and swing dancing, etc. When I heard the word dancing, I
automatically tensed up. It is all in my
head, I know, but I just don’t feel comfortable dancing, at all. I can learn, but I can’t learn it quickly,
and that is a sever handicap. Anyway, I
am content whether I make it in to one of the shows or not. I am so tired, and it would nice to have a
break. However, I also love performing,
and this will probably be the last semester I can be in a BYU show. However, if I don’t make it, I will just keep
on auditioning for things. I’ll
eventually make it into something, I know.
This coming week is the week of large projects. Next week I have a ton a “rough drafts”
due. I have a full-scale paper, a
theatrical time-line, rough sketches for costume design, and of course the ever
present need to practice the new instruments I am learning. I just need to buckle down and get going on
the things. This last Saturday was
crazy. With the callbacks and the two
shows, I literally had no time do any homework.
I thought I didn’t have any, but luckily remembered today that I have a
midterm tomorrow as well as some small assignments for string workshop. I figure I can get up early and do the small
assignments (and if I oversleep I have a bit of time during the day I can do
it), and I have three hours before the midterm.
It is a costume design midterm, and I really, really, really and truly
need to review the drawing of figures. I
am not so great at that, and in no way, shape, or form do I have the
proportions memorized. Oh boy. That class is good, but it is a ton of
work! Much more than I anticipated when
I registered for it.
Oooh! I received an
email this week telling me that I had won the KCACTF Meritorious Achievement
Award for my cello composition and accompaniment for The Diary of Anne Frank. The
email said something I wasn’t expecting though—it said that I am eligible to
compete! That was kind of exciting. However, I have no idea what category I am
eligible to compete in, nor do I know how I would do it, if it had to be the
cello. It will be interesting to find
out. But, I thought that was pretty
good.
Anyway, I think that is all.
Oh wait. I had this thought in
Stake Conference today.
The people around me are
talking, texting, sleeping etc. Why are they even here? They are
missing out on so much, missing their opportunities, and being disrespectful.
However, this thought came to me, as I was harshly judging these other
people: why am I even here on earth? What am I doing or not doing? How am missing my opportunities? How am I
missing my full potential? How am I being disrespectful? How often do I watch a
movie instead of goon to the temple? How often do I sleep instead of making
more time to read my scriptures? How often are my prayers truly heartfelt? I am
doing exactly what those around me are, just in a different way. I need
to increase my understanding; I would never do what those around me are
because I understand what they are missing, as well as what the consequences of
their actions are. When I increase my understanding of other aspects of the
Gospel, I will become better. Make a choice Jennie!!!!
I really do need to improve,
and I am determined to. I am also trying
not to make this a “log” of my life, but to record the important experience I
have as well as how I feel about them.
Who knows if I am successful or not, but I will try and do better
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